The Path of Time

"Should have........", is a common phrase heard especially during times when something has gone wrong. I find it irritating when people say that to me because I think it doesn't help the situation but rather makes the situation worse. Christmas this year, a friend and I went on a 700km road trip up to a neighbouring state. The road trip was fun and enjoyable except for the part my car got hit by another car. In terms of damage, it was bad enough to leave a hole in my car, which now requires some welding and body work to restore it. Freak accidents can happen any where and at any time with virtually anyone. More often than not, accidents are due to human negligence. Those who know me will know my car is kept in pristine condition and that I really love my car. Especially given the fact that my car is 21 years old, going 22 years old in the next couple of days. By the time I got home, my mom flipped when she saw the damaged. It was even more painful for me to see my car in ...

“Day by day, I watched the sun rise in the morning and set in the evening not knowing what I could do to improve my situation. It feels like I am waiting for time to pass me by and waiting for the grim reaper to take me back to my maker”, said the old man who was gazing at the plants and flower he whole heartedly planted in his garden. The old man was talking to a once famous professional poker player who had everything a man could want – fame, money, women, recognition, etc. Now he is but a part-time worker who makes end meet in a plants nursery. For an ex-gambler, Mike sure knew a lot about plants. Apparently, it made him feel peaceful in the inside every time he was working the garden and caring for the plants. He felt it could help him forget the painful past of losing everything he had. What about the old man? The old man is the owner of a large casino chain. "Why don't you join me? I am planning to open up a new casino and I would like someone to head it. You have the ex...

About 5 weeks ago, I decided to do something I never thought I would do. In fact, it was something I decided upon without even thinking. I was asked to go rock climbing. The normal me would have gave it long thought and replied, "no". But at that point in time I decided I wanted to do something different and I decided to say, "Oh, what the hell. I am going to do it!" I surprised myself that evening. Seriously, I really did surprise myself! Effectively, yesterday was my fourth time doing rock climbing. I am really enjoying it. The physical challenge is one thing. But I learn other things too when I climb. On the very second time of climbing, I lost a lunch bet because I couldn't complete a route. At that point in time, in my mind I thought of rock climbing of a pure physical sport (i.e. no-brainer). I was really wrong. Dead wrong! Much technique is involved in it and it requires thinking in terms of where to place your feet and hands and to have the most efficien...

Four days in the hospital was an interesting observational experience. You see all sorts of people in the hospital. All that observation came from walking the corridors of the hospital, sitting in the quiet corner of Starbucks while waiting for my latte-to-go to be ready, walking to the hospital's convenient store to get the daily newspaper. The auditory and visual senses of one's body are truly amazing when it comes to seeing and hearing what goes around you. For some personal reasons, I had to be at the hospital everyday since last Thursday. While I was there, I really think it was an eye opening experience. For instance, I met a Buddhist monk who goes there on a daily basis with a laptop and pays for an ice blended mocha with a credit card, while offering prayers to those who requests for prayers. I also got acquainted with two very friendly and good-serving Starbucks baristas named Daniel and Roshan. I also got to experience the advancement of medical technology that now ca...

They say, "love knows no boundaries". I tend to agree with that statement I've seen parents go through hell to making sure their children gets the best, sometimes even if it means they have to tie their stomachs so their kids can get more. I've also witness siblings looking out for each other, be it in fights or even sports. I've also seen married couples sharing a single meal in times of financial difficulties. The incomprehensible emotion called love is indeed a feeling that is like a burst of adrenalin when your body needs a sudden burst of energy to escape danger. Love can drive us to go the distance for that someone dear to us. I don't think you or I can explain how it gives us the drive to go that far. Above and beyond this, love is sometimes like a double edge sword that can lift us up to cloud nine but at the same time, it has the innate ability to leave a scar in the heart of unwary people. Yet, there are those who are willing to take the hurt because...

"You really think too much!" That's what my colleague said to me a few days ago. It got me scratching my head a bit. It did get me thinking if I was thinking too much. One of those catch 22 situations - "thinking about thinking". I think there are some of us who just go with the flow of things and react during the moment whilst there are some of us who likes to figure things out first before doing anything. I apparently, fall in the latter. Last night, out of the blues while reviewing professional squash matches over YouTube I stumbled upon a special interview footage with Amr Shabana, the former world number one squash player and the current world number two. In the interview, he was asked about what does he think about when it comes to shot selections during a match, how does he decide on what shot to play, the thought process. I was rather startled with his reply. He said something like this (my quote may not be accurate), "I don't think about it. If...

I was taking a walk to my optician in a shopping mall when I came across an unusual sight. There was this couple who were walking out of the lift, the girl was on a wheel chair and the guy on a pair of crutches. Minus the fact that they were less capable physically clearly didn't stop them from being happy. They were talking to each other very cheerfully and I could see they were in love with each other. You'd know two persons are in love with each other when the two of them can look into each others' eyes with a touch of gentleness and softness only people in love would know. I might be making an assumption here considering I haven't had extensive experience in the topic of love but I do know parents can give their kids such gentle gazes even at times when a parent is upset with a child (I know since I used to get it a lot from my mom.................. and dad). We all like to dream of having a perfect companion. I mean who wouldn't? You would too right? It can be ...

Yesterday and today was a new experience for me. One time in my life and decided to be spontaneous about something. I decided to go rock climbing without even thinking about it. My friend asked me on a Friday evening and I said yes without even thinking. The end result was 2 crazy days of physical exertion. I now find myself with muscular aches that remind me of my 5-day week squash training when I was still playing squash seriously. Just to show you the gravity of the situation, my fingers can barely work this keyboard, click on the touch pad, the muscles of my backside hurt, my knees are still burning and my thighs are sore. But if there was one thing I learnt today it would be never to underestimate a pile of rocks! I went to the rock climbing venue beaming with confidence knowing I could finish the rock climbing course. I knew I had to finish the course since I had bet with my friend. Lunch was on the line! After all the huffing and puffing, I couldn't complete the course and h...

Where I work, we have a squash team that plays regularly every Mondays and Thursdays. About 6 to 7 of us who simply want to have a good workout and sometimes, have a really competitive match to see how far we have improved in our game. Sometimes, we even discuss among ourselves to point out areas of improvement in our game. It's a nice stress relieving session I must say. This Monday was different. There's was a new guy who joined the firm not long ago and decided he wanted to join our squash session. Welcoming him to the squash session was naturally what I had to do. Where I work, squash players are a rarity. But this new guy who joined us is different from any new guy at squash. He was different because he was fat. He was really fat like having a 45 inch waist line or probably more. It all started when I found this new guy in my company's monthly bulletin of new staff. Every time there is a batch of new joiners, a bulletin will be sent out to all staff to offer a brief de...

Growing up with siblings has its commonalities. The quarrels, the fights, the fair share of parental advice, the pep talks, even sharing the sting of the most revered family bamboo cane (mom ain't nothing once you have felt the sting of the cane) :P There's not a single family that I know of, who has told me they have never had sibling squabbles. Not any that I know of at least. I'd be utterly surprised if someone told me he or she has siblings and never had a single squabble throughout their growing up. I have one older brother and I sure do remember the fights we went through when we were younger. I laugh whenever I think back about it. Fighting and arguing over the tiniest of matter. But we were kids then, what do you expect? It reached a point my dad got us each a pair of boxing gloves to go fight it out. Every Sunday, he'd lay four bricks in each corner of the compound of our home for the 'boxing ring' and he'd be the referee. As far as he was concerned...

"huh huh", "huh huh", "huh huh", I was breathing hard and I was sweating hard. Most of the muscles in my body were starting to feel a burning sensation. I knew my body was very close to the limit. I was struggling to breathe, in fact. I was down 5 points and my opponent looked stronger than ever. I knew in my mind, this was going to be one of the toughest squash matches I have ever had in years. The match pinched me because there I was looking at my opponent, he's this bloke almost twice my age and yet I couldn't beat or let alone take a set off him. It was down right frustrating. I was thinking so hard to come out with some way to beat him but I simply ran out of ideas during the match. Every shot I played, he had an answer for it. If I made a good shot, he'd make a better shot. It reached a point where I just didn't know what to do anymore! At that tipping point, I got frustrated and I got upset with myself. That's when unforced error...

Paid a visit to my grandmother today and she currently lives in an old folks' home. I know it may not necessary be nice to place her there. I have had many friends asking me why she's been place there? Apparently, most people think it's cruel. On the contrary, I personally think the old folks' home is a necessity in this time and day. Don't get me wrong because I am by no means giving a reason for anyone to ship their parents into an old folks' home. My grandmother now lives in an old folks' home due to her stubborn personality, not wanting to live with her children. Last time she stayed with my family, she felt scared being alone my house because my family never came home until 9 to 10pm during the weekdays due to our busy schedule with work. Along the way we tried asking to stay with some of my uncles and aunties, then she decided there was no place like her own home. Finally, we gave up and she got her way. She may have enjoyed staying in her own home but...

This morning I went to fill my car with petrol. I went in to the petrol station counter to pay for the petrol I was going to pump into my car. Right before it was my turn, there was teenager paying for the petrol to be filled up for his motorcycle. He looked young, probably only 18 years of age. This kid tells the guy at the counter he wants 5 Ringgit worth petrol for his motorcycle down at pump 5. Then I heard a pause and he then said, "Sorry, make it 3 Ringgit instead.". That's when I noticed him looking into his wallet and I saw it was close to being empty. I think I only saw 2 Ringgit left after he paid for the petrol. There was no doubt that he had to gingerly reduce the amount of petrol that was going to go into his motorcycle. He was probably thinking of how much mileage he could get from 3 Ringgit worth of petrol. I don't know how far a bike can go on 3 Ringgit because I never owned bike before but one thing I knew with certainty - he definitely wasn't goi...

"A Life at Work" by Thomas Moore is currently the book I am reading. I have reached about half way so far and it has really given me a lot of in sight about my destiny or at least pointers to get me on my way to figure out what my life work is (i.e. your ideal work, work that fulfills you from the inside, food-for-the-soul kind of work). It's still a work in progress thing for me; a long way from reaching the full discovery point (if I ever reach it). Your life work can be as simple as helping old folks in need in a nursing home to something as simple as being a life guard. Simplest of work can be the most rewarding to a person's hear that's deep down. Of course, there's no denying that it is different for everyone. But sometimes, if not all the time, all it takes is a little encouragement from the people around you. Sometimes it is as simple as, "a job well done chump!" or "way to go bud!" or "you hit the home run mate!" or even ...

Today was one hell of a day for me. So bad that it left me with a spinning head for a good three quarter of the day. It started off as a pretty good day at work not until I made a few errors. Errors that were down right silly and should not have been made to begin with. Like any other errors related to work and official documents, there are bound to be a repercussion. I got apprehended by my boss. Big boss to be precise. I am fine with the apprehension since a mistake will be a mistake - especially MY mistake. More often than not, silly errors are the ones that leave you feeling really sore about yourself. Especially the ones you don't expect to make. It is embarrassing to say the least and it paints a really bad image about me. As much as a small error can leave me feeling crappy about myself, similarly a small good deed left me feeling good at the end of the day. Before going back everyday, I need to line up in front of an auto pay machine to settle my parking bill for the day. A...

Friends will always be friends, or so that's what most people tell me. What about times when friends just can't be friends anymore? Ever come across such a pinch? You probably wouldn't be surprised that there are many things in life that can make friends and quite easily break friendships. You and I would have made and lost many friends along the way of growing up. That's part of growing up and maybe, maybe it's part of learning to differentiate who's your friend and who's not. A lot of things can happen in between friendships - work, money, love, etc. Money........ ahhhhhhhhh, the ultimate evil of all things if I must say so myself. People all around the world of different races, skin colour, nationality. Anyone can fall prey to the temptation money has to offer. I too fall prey to the temptation of money sometimes..... The flesh is weak after all. Let me just take it one step further. When I think about money, I think career as well. Career is the driving ...

In an old Chinese folk tale, it is said that when one is brought to this world, we have the love of our life waiting for us in this world at a time and date set by God. In fact, our destinies lies in a red thread tied to our pinkie finger. That red thread is then tied to another person's pinkie finger. It is said that you and that person will be an item in your lifetime. That's the story at least....... Many a times I have seen couples asking one another, "do you love me?" and, "why do you love me?". There will always be answers to those questions like "you are nice, pretty, blah blah blah, etc........." you know the usual mushy answers you'd expect to hear. But do we really need a reason to love someone? Seriously? I saw The Ugly Truth last night. It's a romantic comedy movie that really gets you laughing from start to finish. I am not going to write a review of the movie but I'd rather focus on one line from the movie that I found ve...

We are in the 21st century and the progress of technology brings us smaller, better, more sophisticated and even smarter robots and nanomachines. Only five years ago I was using a Pentium 3 desktop, now we have moved into the quad core Intel processors that make Pentium 3 look like it is sleeping on the job. Technology is a wonderful thing. There is absolutely no doubt about that obvious fact staring at all of us in the face. Just a week ago, I saw a tv programme on the National Geographic channel that featured a group of really smart professors in the US trying to design and create a robot that can do house chores - autonomous robots. Wonderful as technology may seem to be and how much research is going into trying to make artificial intelligence, what most of us call AI, you'd realise that achieving AI is going to one hell of a task. At this point in time, the possibility of a full blown AI robot with its own intelligence and a mind of its own seems remote. Remote but the possibi...

This guys walks into the bar, looks like every other ordinary guy on the street, mid 40s, wearing a spectacles, dangling a guitar around his back except for one minor detail - he suffered from polio and he walked with a pair crutches. His name is Frankie. He was tonight's singer at the bar. I was having a quiet usual drink by myself for the weekend like I always do - a usual practice for me to recollect myself and get my own me time. And no, I am not an alchoholic. Unfortunately, the bar wasn't so quiet tonight. Probably the eve of Malaysia's independence day so it gave many citizens license to drink on a Sunday night without having to worry about having to wake up with a hangover on a Monday morning since it is going to holiday tomorrow. While I was assuming my drinks for the night just enjoying the time for myself, Frankie was setting up his music equipment. I saw him doing some test strums on his guitar, some mic test. When he was finally satisfied with the sound system,...

Rain...... that's what most of us in this part of Malaysia has been facing for the past four days. "I hate blasted rains", those were the thoughts of Paul. The rain reminds him of the time his father passed away 3 years ago. It was a tough reality of life he had to accept. His father was his only family after his mother left the family when he was only 3 years of age. The rains only reminded him of how painful it was to lose his only family and how much he hated his mother who left the family because his father's business did not do well. His father told him his mother passed away when he was a baby. Paul found out the painful truth after he read his father's diary he found while clearing his father's room after his father passed away. Strangely, his father never blamed his mother for leaving, and still wrote about how much he loved her. Paul never truly understood his father's feelings for his heartless mother. He pretty much spent his childhood in his fa...

Over the weekend I read a book that said, "If you wake up every morning to go to work simply because you have to, and wait for your monthly pay cheque, you are not even living. You are merely existing." It was a reality check right in my face. The words were throbbing in front of me like a red flag showing conspicuously placed in a mine laid field! Those words really got me thinking about me. It got me thinking about what I was doing now - existing or living? Embarrassingly, I really think I am existing. Merely existing isn't difficult to achieve in this overpopulated third rock from the sun. I don't think I'd be wrong if I assumed a good 75% of this world exists and don't really take a crack at living. I mean really living - waking up in the morning knowing there is a purpose for the day, a real purpose in what you want do in your living wake. I can't help but think there has to be more than just waking up, getting dressed, rocking up to office, going hom...

Only days ago, I wrote something about arguments. Ironically two days ago, I had to go through the very unwilling feeling of being told I was wrong at work. Wrong over something I was actually correct from the start. Like any uncommon situations, that conclusion was derived with a load of information assymetry. It is not uncommon that we all sometimes say things that could be detrimental to ourselves and to those around us due to the lack of information (i.e. you would have said something else had you known more about the situation). That's probably why so many fights and quarrels break out every now and then. I had to take a step back and ask myself, "am I really wrong?". I looked, re-looked and re-looked again at the situation to really do an assessment. Contrary to trying to see if I was correct, I earnestly wanted to know if I was wrong. I had to know in all possibilities that I was wrong. I had to make sure I was wrong for the right reasons and that it wasn't a c...

I can still remember it vividly. It was 4 years ago, back when I was still in university. Oh wait, college (my family couldn't afford university). I had a really lengthy debate with my lecturer over my dissertation. Like all other debates and arguments, we could not see eye-to-eye on the subject matter. We were arguing over the methodology that I wanted to use for my research. I wanted a 100% qualitative research methodology but she wanted me to have both a mix of quantitative and qualitative research methodology. Being who I was then - young, energetic, gung-ho, I had a point to prove. I wanted to be right. I wanted to be different. While the whole class decided to do a quantitative research because it was old-school, time-tested and proven method, I wanted to be different and I wanted to show I was number 1! Eventually she gave in and I had my way on the methodology. But one thing was clear after I had finally got my way. There was a touch of resentment in her facial expression. ...

Where I work, I get to see, witness and feel the vibes of many brilliant people (with the exception of myself). In this small department I work in, exists a small group of people who are really good at what I do. The sort of people who know what they are doing, knowing where to start, steady and simply having their mojo working (with the exception of myself............. again). One word to sum up what I feel most of the time at work "CLUELESS" or "BLUR" Kidding people isn't what I am trying to do right here. What I say is the truth and nothing but the truth. After all, I have nothing to hide. =) In a car race, the one trailing usually gets the benefit since he gets to see the driving style and techniques of the one ahead of him. With work and life, it is quite the opposite. Trailing behind everyone else is anything but good. It's like trailing behind a a bus running on diesel in a traffic jam. Too much exhaust is far from good for your car. So here I am hit...

-------------------------------------------------------------- "Emotion is okay as long as you realise it is not who you are. Whatever it is makes you sad or mad, it is nothing. It is just emotion. When we believe our emotions are who we really are, we connect with an identification of the past, instead of the reality of today." --------------------------------------------------------------- Those were the words muttered to me by a very close friend of mine about two weeks ago. I am not sure if he read it off a book or it was simply philosophy-at-the-spur. I found it difficult to comprehend. It was confusing, to say the very least. Few weeks ago, I was a ravaged piece of human flesh who was clueless and sinking in a plehtora of emotions ranging from anger to hate to regret. I think I had to go through one of the worst moments in my life. A moment in my life that spelt out the words, "We dismiss your appeal." Simple words that sent me spiralling below ground zero emo...

Life for many of us out there is good. Lifestyle of today's society and the lifestyle of society 10 years ago is a different paradigm altogether. Gross income per capita across the globe has since doubled, tripled or even possibly multiplied a few times over. With better earning power, people spend more these days too. You, me and a good majority of people out there do not hesitate to pamper ourselves with things we can afford because we tell ourselves, "We deserve it!" But, what if.......... What if you wake one morning to a phone call from your boss telling you that you are fired? What if one day after a medical checkup, your doctor tells you you've got a serious cancer and only have 2 months to live? What if one day you start to lose your ability to see? What if one day you meet a car accident and lose all ability waist-down? What if one day you lose all every penny in a bad investment? What if one day you get evicted from your dream home after failing to meet the ...

What it takes.............. Sometimes, it takes only one word to make a person close to you turn their backs on you. Sometimes, it takes only for a parent to say ,"sh#t!" once in their lifetime in front of their kids and you find their kids saying it the very next day; probably even with twice the tenacity. Sometimes, it takes only for you to hold back on a praise someone is hoping so badly for, to know that you appreciate what he or she has done for you. Sometimes, it takes only for you to lash out at someone without thinking, to hurt another person's feelings. Sometimes, it take only for a husband to say, "I love you" to his spouse to lighten up her day after a rough day at work but he decides he doesn't need to. and.................................................................... Sometimes, it takes only for you to say, "Hi!" with a smile to your kids, and that's all the energy they need to go to school. Sometimes, it takes only for you t...

A close friend of my mom's popped by my house a few days back. But this friend is special. She is different from you and I. Different because she is blind. She wasn't born blind but she became blind from a disease during her early adulthood days. I was perplexed when my mom decided to take her around our house. In mind there was only one thought - what could a blind lady possibly see? Wouldn't you think the same way if you were me? Really! I actually whispered to my mom's ears, "Hey! What's she going to see?". Totally forgetting the fact she has been blind for so many years, she would have honed her hearing skills. She heard my whisper and answered me, "I can't see but I compensate with the remaining four senses God so graciously left me with." Compensated with her remaining senses was exactly what she did! She could differentiate room sizes from the echo generated from the room when we spoke. She even guessed correctly which room was mine af...

While having breakfast before starting my day at work yesterday morning, the idea that I just sat for my last exam paper a few days ago set in and it hit me that I have spent about 3 and a half years doing my degree and another 2 and a half doing my post-graduate professional qualification. Naturally, my mind decided to take a drive down memory lane thinking about all the money my parents have spent on me. With all humility, I'll gladly declare my parents could have saved a lot more money had they decided not to have me! Let's do some math here on the cost of having a child during the first year. Bear in mind, I am thinking out loud estimating the costs. Here goes: Housing - RM3,000 Food - RM1,000 Transportation - RM1,000 Clothing - RM600 Health care - RM800 Miscellaneous - RM500 TOTAL - RM6,900 Judging from the figures above, I think it's safe to say that I probably have underestimated the cost. But let's not forget, that amount compounds as the child grows. We can cle...

Few days ago, I finally got to watch the finale to Sylvester Stallone's Rocky franchise. There's no doubt about it that he ended the franchise very well; really bringing the Rocky franchise to a close. Anyway, this post isn't about the movie. If you need a movie review on Rocky VI, please visit www.imdb.com . This post is about something Stallone's character, Rocky Balboa said to his son in one of the scenes. Something invaluable I learned from the movie. There was this scene when Rocky's son went to speak to him shortly after Rocky was granted his boxing license. Rocky is old, not as fit as before, slower punches, slower reflexes and to make matters worse, he is about to have a boxing match with the current world champion. And Rocky's son, Robert isn't too happy about it. Not too happy about the fact that his father might be sending himself on a suicide mission having a boxing match with a formidable foe, not too happy about the fact that his father is no l...