When your own mind becomes your enemy~

"huh huh", "huh huh", "huh huh", I was breathing hard and I was sweating hard. Most of the muscles in my body were starting to feel a burning sensation. I knew my body was very close to the limit. I was struggling to breathe, in fact. I was down 5 points and my opponent looked stronger than ever. I knew in my mind, this was going to be one of the toughest squash matches I have ever had in years.

The match pinched me because there I was looking at my opponent, he's this bloke almost twice my age and yet I couldn't beat or let alone take a set off him. It was down right frustrating. I was thinking so hard to come out with some way to beat him but I simply ran out of ideas during the match. Every shot I played, he had an answer for it. If I made a good shot, he'd make a better shot. It reached a point where I just didn't know what to do anymore!

At that tipping point, I got frustrated and I got upset with myself. That's when unforced errors started to come in and I basically gave him the game. The frustration just got worse.

I sat outside the court after the match just asking myself one question. Only one. "Was it worth getting frustrated and upset with yourself?". As I saw the sweat from my face dripped on the floor as I sat on the floor, I knew the answer was a simple, "No".

As I drove home, windows down, the air blowing into the car was simply refreshing. Then as I gave the match a deep thought (still conscious of the road, I promise), it dawned to me that there is an undeniable truth to the fact that the mind has latent powers that many of us can actually harness maybe with the exception of great minds like Einstein, Socrates or Darwin.

My point is this - the very mind that I was using to come up with tactics and techniques to beat my opponent in the very end turned against me when I lost my mind in the state of frustration and simply gave away the match making unforced errors and sometimes, silly shots.

Yes, I admit I may be raising a rhetorical point but the irony of the human mind being a double edged sword is simply mind boggling. As much as the human mind is capable of marvelous feats, it can also be the harbinger of self-destruction.