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the inevitable, the acceptable

A close friend of my mom's popped by my house a few days back. But this friend is special. She is different from you and I. Different because she is blind. She wasn't born blind but she became blind from a disease during her early adulthood days.

I was perplexed when my mom decided to take her around our house. In mind there was only one thought - what could a blind lady possibly see? Wouldn't you think the same way if you were me? Really!

I actually whispered to my mom's ears, "Hey! What's she going to see?". Totally forgetting the fact she has been blind for so many years, she would have honed her hearing skills. She heard my whisper and answered me, "I can't see but I compensate with the remaining four senses God so graciously left me with."

Compensated with her remaining senses was exactly what she did! She could differentiate room sizes from the echo generated from the room when we spoke. She even guessed correctly which room was mine after my mom gave her a brief description of my personality. I am guessing she felt the way I placed my room items and arranged my study table. She has been taking buses alone for decades. Ever since my mom knew her in the first company my mom joined.

I got a chance to speak to her and I couldn't help but ask how she became blind. Personally, I wasn't interested in what caused her blindness but I was more interested in how she coped with accepting the fact she became blind. She suffered from glaucoma, of which she found out a tad too late to be saved. She underwent 13 surgeries. THIRTEEN!!!!! I thought I felt my heart fall to the floor when I heard thirteen.

When she was first diagnosed with the disease, she knew her chances of recovery were very slim give the advanced stage of the disease. She also she knew she would have to undergo more than one surgery. Her first reaction was the feeling of a great, deep and vast loss. She knew deep down inside, she was never going to be able to see her favourite tv shows, she herself in the mirror or see her future bride groom. It felt like the world capsizing on her.

The worse part of it all was the fact that she knew she all this was coming for her. She likened it to standing in the middle of a road simply waiting for a car to run over her without being able to do anything about it - in slow motion. She literally felt her eyes get blurrier by the day until she finally became completely blind.

She described how her blindness wrecked her emotionally. She became a recluse, hated her situation, hated God, hated everything, even herself. Until a very close friend successfully persuaded her to tag along to church for a Friday night service. Sitting at the back of the church on a Friday night with her friend, she didn't know what the pastor's sermon was all about neither did she care.

While sitting down, she heard the pastor end the sermon and she heard worship songs being played and people singing along. In her world of complete darkness, first time in her entire life she heard songs of love, of peace, of compassion, of joy, of contention, of giving. First time in her entire life, she actually concentrated on trying to pick up all the sounds making the simply wonderful music she was hearing.

Absorbed into the beautiful music, she simply cried, feeling the awesomeness of the inner peace she has been bestowed upon. Till today she cannot be a hundred percent sure, but she is certain in the midst of crying she heard a voice saying, "There are things even your eyes cannot see. Use the eye of the heart, and all shall be clear to you. What you cannot see does not mean it is not there. Live with what you have left." She attributes it to God and I am not going disagree or agree.

That night, she left the church realising something important. Something she took for granted all these while. She had never truly appreciated having all five senses. Not until her eyesight was taken away from her. She also realised, it was futile fighting the inevitable. Fighting something against something she knew she couldn't change.

She summed it up quite very simply as, "I learned to accept the inevitable that very night. In fact, I have always been happy since that night and I have never hated the fact that I am blind. I gained a gift - a gift of impeccable hearing and touch. Most importantly, I learned that if I kept trying to go against the current of inevitability, I'd just get swept away. Just like how I was when I first became blind - sad, hateful, full of self pity."

I couldn't agree more with her....................................

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