"should have"

"Should have........", is a common phrase heard especially during times when something has gone wrong. I find it irritating when people say that to me because I think it doesn't help the situation but rather makes the situation worse.

Christmas this year, a friend and I went on a 700km road trip up to a neighbouring state. The road trip was fun and enjoyable except for the part my car got hit by another car. In terms of damage, it was bad enough to leave a hole in my car, which now requires some welding and body work to restore it. Freak accidents can happen any where and at any time with virtually anyone. More often than not, accidents are due to human negligence.

Those who know me will know my car is kept in pristine condition and that I really love my car. Especially given the fact that my car is 21 years old, going 22 years old in the next couple of days.

By the time I got home, my mom flipped when she saw the damaged. It was even more painful for me to see my car in such a state. So the next best thing to do was to quickly send the car in for repair work. The mechanic takes a look at the damage and says, "It's going to take a about 3 to 4 days to fix up. You should have been more careful".

I felt a bit disturbed with the "you should have been more careful" bit of what he said. The thought in my mind at that point in time was, "Had I knew he was going hit my car, I would not have even driven on the road I got hit to begin with and I wouldn't need to send my car to you would I?". Not to mention he was going to be getting money from me for the repair work.

I wasn't upset with him for saying that but I just felt that saying such things really wasn't helping the situation. My mechanic was clearly looking in hindsight. It sure is easy to state the obvious after something has happened. It's like being told fire burns only after you get burnt by it. That's a lot help!

Many of us fail to understand that it is always easy to look in hindsight because more often than not, we would be merely stating the obvious. Most importantly, it makes no difference and it doesn't change the outcome that has already happened. Rather, we should let what has happened be and learn from what has happened to not repeat it in the future........