listening

There are some people who are gifted with an extraordinary ability to hear things, memorise them and then reiterate them word perfect. It's pretty amazing how some people can just pick things up, store them and replay  it back almost instantaneously.

But is there really more to it or is listening merely utilising your auditory capabilities to decode decibels into meaningful data for your brain to interpret?

One of my friend had learn to become more than just a father. His daughter, Lisa was born autistic. So for him, it didn't only involve learning about diaper change and feeding time, he had to learn to communicate with Lisa. It wasn't easy from day 1 to begin with because it was very difficult to communicate with Lisa. He would find her sitting in one corner just rocking back and forth staring into blank space and mumbling to herself. He wanted more than just to care for Lisa, he wanted her to have a normal life like every other kid. But before he could hope for her to have a normal life, he knew he would have to breach the communication gap that stood as a barrier.

It took him weeks to find some way to communicate to Lisa until he discovered it by accident. Apart from rocking back and forth, mumbling to herself, he noticed patterns in the way Lisa reacted depending on her mood. For example, Lisa would grip her soft toy really hard if she was hungry, curl her toes really tightly when she needed to take a leak, and a myriad of other patterns he noted in Lisa. When the patterns started to form more conspicuously, he grabbed a notepad and started to record the patterns he noticed for future references.

The result, he became more than a father to Lisa. He became Lisa' best friend. He knew what she wanted, what she was asking for or at times, he simply knew Lisa just wanted a nice comforting hug. It was almost like communicating on an emphatic subliminal level of which an open line of communication was available between only the two of them.

Communication doesn't always have to mean someone talking and another listening. It also involved a huge part of observation and understanding. Those involve your eyes and your heart. That's how Lisa and her dad bonded. Not by words but through gesture, body language and a certain degree of mumbling.

Listening requires more than your ears. It's your ears, eyes and most importantly, your heart. It means communicating with another not just via literary words but with a tinge of empathy.