There's always much talk about being a good listener. You might have encountered people who have said, "talk less and you can listen to what the other person is saying because your voice will drown what the other person is saying."
But being a good listener isn't just about opening up your ears to pick up auditory signals for your brain to make sense of. It's more than that. It's about having connectivity between one another. More often than not, you and I will be caught up in all the formalities, politeness, controlled, well thought (not always) of responses. Basically means either you give or you get mundane, boring and more often than not, not sincere responses.
Have you ever observed any 2 people sit down over a cup of coffee talking to each other but realise it's more than just 2 people talking. Meaning, you see interaction. Like those 2 people are really engaging each other's attention and what's being spoken to each other. That's the kind of connectivity I am referring to, which normally expresses itself in interesting, honest discussion, kinship, relatedness and love (not just couple love, but family love, love among friends).
Before I start to sound convoluted, what it really means is simply for us to be honest with who we are interacting with. It means overcoming the fear of being worried of saying, reacting in a way that might offend someone or invite rejection from that someone. I don't mean you being rude but really just offer someone your honest attention, opinion, words of wisdom. In fact, just give them the all of you.
Try to recollect the number of times you have practiced some form of censorship or held back from responding to someone your real thoughts and ended up just giving them what they wanted to hear or something contrary to your own beliefs. I think you will very quickly find that it happens practically on a daily basis with virtually everyone you interact with.
Why not just give them what you really think in your heart albeit it might come to be something as simple or silly as, "huh?". That "huh?" could be an honest, "I am sorry, I missed what you said earlier. Could you please repeat yourself?". You'd be amazed how many people will appreciate an honest "huh?" instead of trying to cover up your miss with some vague and probably irrelevant response.
Make that someone talking to you count. Have a <3 to <3 talk, heart 2 heart talk......... =0)
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