There are times when as much as you want to lend a hand or reach out to someone, you just get turned down. Even if your intentions were in all ways out of good faith and purely out of kindheartedness.
I once knew this guy, now a friend of mine. He was born with certain defects in his legs causing him to be unable to walk and he had to live with the unfortunate fact of growing up with crutches. Not a very enjoyable way of growing up if you ask for my honest opinion.
I met this guy, Steve in secondary school one afternoon when I was making my way up the staircase to get to my classroom. I saw him with his crutches and I could see he was struggling up the staircase. Have you ever tried scaling up a flight on stairs with crutches? Far from fun, believe me.
I decided to approach him to give him a hand up the stairs. Surprisingly, he turned me down and in a rather forceful way.
He looked at him very sternly I said, "Look, I am a bloody handicap and yes, I am bloody struggling up this flight of staircase to get to my classroom but I don't need your help! I'll do fine by myself!"
I was really taken aback by his words and demeanour. I was perplexed in fact. I was merely trying to help and if he didn't need my help, I really didn't think his reaction was necessary.
"Just trying to help bro. If you don't need my help, that's fine. Just offering a hand, alright?"
"Well, I don't need it!" he replied sternly and continued to trudge up the flight of staircase.
I left him be.
The following day, during break time, he approached me at the canteen to share the table. I didn't mind him joining me since I usually ate alone anyway. Could always use some company. I didn't say much to him after having seen his reaction the day before.
"Name's Steve. Hey, sorry about yesterday. Hope you don't take it to heart."
I introduced myself and said, "No big deal Steve, guess the stairs must have frustrated you or something."
"Nah, not really. After having been on crutches for 15 years of my life, I have gotten used to the inconvenience it brings me. Sometimes really frustrating but that's my life. Can't really change it since God decided I should be born like this."
"Sorry about your condition."
"No worries. Life's like this. There are things in life you want but can't have and there are things you don't want but simply get thrust with it because some higher authority says you should have it. Then again, I don't expect you to understand how it's like to grow up with crutches, facing all the inconvenience of trying to get around. I can't even go out without having people staring at me for Pete's sake!"
I paused for a moment and said, "Steve, just because you see me walking around like a normal kid doesn't mean I don't know how it feels to be you. I had to use crutches for three weeks before when I had a knee injury from sports. I know how it feels trying to move around with crutches and by the time you retire to bad at night, your armpits hurt from the crutches resting under it and your shoulders burning from the strain you place on it when moving using the crutches."
The look on his face told me that he knew I described it too vividly to be bluffing.
"Guess you do know how it feels to be on crutches."
"Yesterday, back there I simply wanted to help. That's all. Didn't mean to be some Mr. do-gooder trying to tell the world I give a shit about a guy on crutches or trying to make the mickey out of you. Sometimes you may think that no one knows what you are going through but the fact is that, there are people out there who do know about what you are going through and are more than prepared to lend you a hand because they actually give a damn about you."
From that conversation on, we became pretty good friends and he never turned me down when I offered to help him.
There are many times when people tend to take things on their own shoulders trying to heave the burden they placed upon themselves not knowing that there is someone out there already putting a hand out to help lift the burden, even if the little hand can only lift a small bit. There are times when you find yourself up against the wall, lost and confused about things, try looking around and you might just find somebody by your side already extending a hand to you............
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