simply because I cared.....

There are times when as much as you want to lend a hand or reach out to someone, you just get turned down. Even if your intentions were in all ways out of good faith and purely out of kindheartedness.

I once knew this guy, now a friend of mine. He was born with certain defects in his legs causing him to be unable to walk and he had to live with the unfortunate fact of growing up with crutches. Not a very enjoyable way of growing up if you ask for my honest opinion.

I met this guy, Steve in secondary school one afternoon when I was making my way up the staircase to get to my classroom. I saw him with his crutches and I could see he was struggling up the staircase. Have you ever tried scaling up a flight on stairs with crutches? Far from fun, believe me.

I decided to approach him to give him a hand up the stairs. Surprisingly, he turned me down and in a rather forceful way.

He looked at him very sternly I said, "Look, I am a bloody handicap and yes, I am bloody struggling up this flight of staircase to get to my classroom but I don't need your help! I'll do fine by myself!"

I was really taken aback by his words and demeanour. I was perplexed in fact. I was merely trying to help and if he didn't need my help, I really didn't think his reaction was necessary.

"Just trying to help bro. If you don't need my help, that's fine. Just offering a hand, alright?"

"Well, I don't need it!" he replied sternly and continued to trudge up the flight of staircase.

I left him be.

The following day, during break time, he approached me at the canteen to share the table. I didn't mind him joining me since I usually ate alone anyway. Could always use some company. I didn't say much to him after having seen his reaction the day before.

"Name's Steve. Hey, sorry about yesterday. Hope you don't take it to heart."

I introduced myself and said, "No big deal Steve, guess the stairs must have frustrated you or something."

"Nah, not really. After having been on crutches for 15 years of my life, I have gotten used to the inconvenience it brings me. Sometimes really frustrating but that's my life. Can't really change it since God decided I should be born like this."

"Sorry about your condition."

"No worries. Life's like this. There are things in life you want but can't have and there are things you don't want but simply get thrust with it because some higher authority says you should have it. Then again, I don't expect you to understand how it's like to grow up with crutches, facing all the inconvenience of trying to get around. I can't even go out without having people staring at me for Pete's sake!"

I paused for a moment and said, "Steve, just because you see me walking around like a normal kid doesn't mean I don't know how it feels to be you. I had to use crutches for three weeks before when I had a knee injury from sports. I know how it feels trying to move around with crutches and by the time you retire to bad at night, your armpits hurt from the crutches resting under it and your shoulders burning from the strain you place on it when moving using the crutches."

The look on his face told me that he knew I described it too vividly to be bluffing.

"Guess you do know how it feels to be on crutches."

"Yesterday, back there I simply wanted to help. That's all. Didn't mean to be some Mr. do-gooder trying to tell the world I give a shit about a guy on crutches or trying to make the mickey out of you. Sometimes you may think that no one knows what you are going through but the fact is that, there are people out there who do know about what you are going through and are more than prepared to lend you a hand because they actually give a damn about you."

From that conversation on, we became pretty good friends and he never turned me down when I offered to help him.

There are many times when people tend to take things on their own shoulders trying to heave the burden they placed upon themselves not knowing that there is someone out there already putting a hand out to help lift the burden, even if the little hand can only lift a small bit. There are times when you find yourself up against the wall, lost and confused about things, try looking around and you might just find somebody by your side already extending a hand to you............

~ roses ~

Too many of us, if not the world at large, roses are like the universal flowers to tell someone, "I love you...." Three amazing words that can invite the rainbow after a stormy day, put a smile on your face and make your heart melt like a candle in the dark.

I did recently give flowers to someone. First time giving flowers by the way (*^_^*). It was a really nice feeling knowing that a dozen roses placed a nice smile on someone's face.

It is a universal fact that roses signifies love and affection. But one bugging question lies in my mind - why is it that despite the beautiful red it carries and the all so soothing shape of the petals that rose has, it has thorns around its stem? The question came to my mind when I accidentally pricked my finger on the flowers I bought when I tried to drain the water from the bouquet of roses.

I guess God has his reasons for creating the rose as such.

Over the weekend I think I found the answer to the question. The weekend was one tiring, sleepless weekend. Pulling an all-nighter to complete a little something, it kind of hit my mind why roses had thorns around it.

I won't deny the fact that you and I are easily attracted to the beauty of a rose. Looking at the colour, the petals, the shape of the flower, how can we not be hooked to its beauty? That's probably part of the reason why roses generally signifies love - it's beauty.

But I think there's more to it. Roses, like us carry beauty around it. Just like how there is a pretty girl and a good looking guy. There will always be a time when someone of the opposite sex captures our eye, but only one that will capture our hearts. It's like roses, one look at it and you'll definitely be attracted by its beauty until you realise you can't just grab it by the stem simply because you'll get pricked by the thorns.

Love is like roses because you have to be able see through the thorns to see the flower. Like, you may be attracted to someone because of his or her beauty but when you finally get to know him or her, you realise there are things you don't like about them. That isn't love I guess, that's just a crush. Love is being able look at all the flaws that the other has and still be able to look them in the eye, hold their hand and say, "I LovE yoU."

every second ~

Over the last 5 months, I got to know someone whom I really wanted to know a long time ago. It must have been at least a year I've been quietly taking peeks, trying to work the math on how to approach her, scratching my head figuring out how to make first contact. Most important of all - first contact. Mind boggling it was!

It all started with a couple of book receipts and I found myself having little nudges in my heart. Couldn't really explain what the feeling was, neither was I capable of understanding how it all transpired. It simply wasn't a feeling I'd get everyday. It felt all too foreign to me. When I found myself wanting to know her, I knew the little nudges in my heart meant something.

Strangely, it has been an up and down, somewhat roller coaster ride in the whole process of trying to get to know her. It has made me understand better about the complexity of the human emotion and it always takes two hands to clap.

Above and beyond that, I learned something more important. Every little second of the moments I have had chances to be with her are little treasures for me to keep safe and warm in the treasure chest in my heart and memories. It doesn't really matter if I have had a minute or hours to be with her even if it's from a distance, it still is a precious moment to me.

If I could slow time down to enjoy a second a little longer, I would. It didn't matter even if it was time spent staring at her or simply having dinner with her or an evening with her and friends. It's something I would really hold on to dearly.

Not everything is certain in what we do and sometimes not everything turns out as expected because that's how God designed our lives to be and that is the added colour to our lives. But at the end of the day, I'd still gain something - lifetime moments of which I can think back and still make me smile.............. every second that meant to me.

There was no response......

When I first started fishing about 10 years ago as a teenager, I was always eager to hook up something from the pond I usually fished in. The feeling of having a bite was simply amazing as newbie to fishing. I used to go fishing almost on a weekly basis with a close friend of mine who got me started on fishing. I used to call him Foong. He was a funny guy, full of energy, always hyper and running around so when he introduced me to fishing, I was surprised because I simply couldn't imagine an energetic guy like him sitting down to fish patiently.

There was one time, when we went out to our usual pond to fish and it was almost after 2 hours, we both had no bites, no gentle tugs to our lines at all. I was losing patience and was beginning to toss my line without considering whether I was hitting a fish-rich part of the pond or not. Obviously, it was wasted effort and frustration simply built up further. I kept trying and trying and trying for the next hour or so before we both decided to call it a day.

It was a 20 minute walk back home. We didn't live far from each other. I guess he could tell the frustration from the frown I was wearing on my face.

Then he said, "I started fishing at least 3 years before you started and there will always be frustrating fishing sessions like this. You sit your butt there for 3 hours to get nothing. No bite, no tug, no nothing."

I kept silent... still frowning with frustration.

He continued, "We may not have caught anything today but we will come back the next round and try again."

"That was no response, Foong. Nothing...... you know how much bait we wasted today?"

"I know there was no response but it's like that. I mean it's like life. Look at the bright side, at least you didn't get any response from a fish in a pond. Try getting no response from a human. Which would you rather? Seriously, even we face such situations with people."

He did make some sense, as I walked along the road with him.

"Sometimes you can't hope to get a response from something or someone. It's like Murphy's Law at times. The more you want it, the more you won't get it. Maybe it's God's way of teaching us patience or it is simply fate that makes us fools trying to make things happen. Or sometimes, you are simply not meant to get a response. Last week we fished at the same spot and caught 7 fishes. Today we got nothing. That's how life works! If you don't get a response, you can either keep trying at the same spot or try somewhere else, no?"

"Yup! you are right there bud.........."

James...

Two nights ago I was on my way home from work probably about 11-nish. I soon realised my car needs a fill up of petrol otherwise I would likely find myself pushing the car home (not something I would like to try, believe me).

There was this usual petrol station I drop by for petrol every time my car needs a gas up. Normally every time I am there to gas up, I usually see the usual familiar faces who work the night shift but that night it was different. There was a new guy on the job.

I noticed him when he walked over to my pump when I was swiping in my credit card into the pump. I was surprised when he walked up to me to ask if the machine works explaining to me some of the pumps in the station had a tendency of having glitches when it comes to accepting credit cards. I gladly expressed my appreciation for his concern in ensuring my credit card transaction went through and went on with filling up my car's petrol tank.

Then he said, "You want to know a tip on how you can save petrol and get more mileage out of your car?"

I can't say I was interested but I figured it was worth listening to him. I was in no hurry and a 15 minute conversation with a petrol station attendant couldn't possibly kill me.

So I replied, "Sure, I'd like to know how I can get more out of my petrol."

Then he goes on explaining to me the details of which I am not going to bore you with. Basically, at the end of the conversation, he quickly walks into the petrol station shop and shows me a bottle of petrol additive and basically tries to sell me that bottle of additive.

I had a sneaky feeling he was going to try to sell me something at the end of it. Nothing taken against him. He was doing his job. I really didn't think I needed it since my car is already in tip top condition so I politely turned him down. I thanked him for taking the time to explain to me on the fuel saving tip and asked his name. He was James.

I filled up and went on to pump the air of my car tyres. As I finished pumping the tyres I called out to James, "Hey James, how much is one of those bottles?"

"28 dollars"

"I'll take one mate!"

He quickly runs in and takes a bottle for me and I pay James.

Then I said, "I like you James. I'd be honest with you I can get the exact same bottle for a couple more dollar cheaper from my usual spare part supplier but I'll take it from you since you took the time and effort."

I spotted the smile on his face as he thanked me.

Listening to a guy explain to me how I could save petrol cost me 15 minutes of my time. Buying the bottle of petrol additive cost me 28 bucks. Putting a smile on someone's face..... priceless.