the cost of having kids!

While having breakfast before starting my day at work yesterday morning, the idea that I just sat for my last exam paper a few days ago set in and it hit me that I have spent about 3 and a half years doing my degree and another 2 and a half doing my post-graduate professional qualification.

Naturally, my mind decided to take a drive down memory lane thinking about all the money my parents have spent on me. With all humility, I'll gladly declare my parents could have saved a lot more money had they decided not to have me!

Let's do some math here on the cost of having a child during the first year. Bear in mind, I am thinking out loud estimating the costs. Here goes:

Housing - RM3,000
Food - RM1,000
Transportation - RM1,000
Clothing - RM600
Health care - RM800
Miscellaneous - RM500
TOTAL - RM6,900

Judging from the figures above, I think it's safe to say that I probably have underestimated the cost. But let's not forget, that amount compounds as the child grows. We can clearly see why children come with a hefty price tag! Not to mention, it's a price tag for the long term!

Studying for my degree locally already cost my parents close to RM60,000, tuition fees alone. Let's all assume it takes on average up to RM300,000 until the day the child leaves home. RM300,000 can get you a lot desirable items.

But there's more! Here's why you get more bang for your buck when you have a child:

For RM300,000 you get:
1. to name the child;
2. more love than your heart can hold;
3. flying kisses and Velcro hugs;
4. a hand to hold, albeit probably covered with chocolate, jelly or even saliva.

For RM300,000 you get to be young again:
1. watching Sunday cartoons with your child;
2. play peekaboo!
3. count stars;
4. be Santa Claus, without being called an idiot.

That's not all! You get to be a hero:
1. putting bandaid on a cut;
2. fixing a broken toy;
3. mending a hole in the favourite bolster;
4. retrieving a kite from a neighbourhood tree.

In addition, you get to be the first person to witness the:
1. first step;
2. first word;
3. first pair of undies;
4. first date; and
5. first time behind the wheel of the family car.

Some incidental benefits includes you being immortalised through the possibility of a never ending growth in the family tree branches - blessed with grandchildren, great grandchildren!

In addition, in the eyes of a child, you are their number 1 person - you are the one who chases away the boogey man under the bed or inside the closet, patch a broken heart, advise on career paths, help with math homework, and love them with all your heart.

You'll get to all those stuff so that someday they too will love without counting the cost, and love with all the heart.

Isn't it one hell of a deal for the price? :) Have a nice day!


~Path of Time~ by Micky Foo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License

The Piggy Bank ~ an inspiration

The Piggy Bank, from the eyes of a boy named James.............

I remembered when I was a kid, dad and mom always had a piggy bank by the bed in the old wooden cottage we used to live in. Any lose change and coins would go in to that piggy bank. It wasn't any normal piggy bank, it was made from wood, something my grandfather taught my dad when my dad was a kid.

Dad was a rubber tapper, and mom worked as a tea lady for a nearby law firm not far from where we lived. Back in the early 60s, wages were earned by the hour. Mom didn't really get much because she worked a fixed 8 hours a day. Dad earned a bit more since he used to worked till late at night to get a little extra.

Every night before I cuddled up with them to bed, we would count how much coins we had for the day and put the coins into the piggy bank. Every time we drop those coins in, I could hear the coins hitting each other. Dad would always say, "Your mommy and I will make sure you get a good education and won't ever need to stay in a wooden cottage with no rooms."

Dad always made sure we had enough piggy banks to store up a month's worth of wage savings. Each time one piggy bank became full, he would keep the piggy bank safely in the closet and take out a new piggy bank to continue depositing coins in it. At the end of the month dad and I would walk to the nearest bank carrying the piggy banks in sacks. Every time we deposited the coins in the bank, dad would rub my tiny head and say, "All these piggy bank savings will get you a good education and brighter future. Your mommy and I don't want you struggling like us!" 

No matter how rough the situation was, dad and mom always made sure there was some left to put in the piggy bank. When dad lost his job during the a bad depression, times were really bad for us, but neither did dad or mom take a dime from the piggy bank. We had stew for food, and sometimes skipping lunch only to have dinner. Stew was the easy to make and could last a couple of days. Dad would still rub my little head and say, "We can't use a single dime from the piggy bank! All the money in there is to make sure you won't have to skip lunch and have stew for meals. Not unless you want to have stew that is...." He always said it with a smile even though I knew he spared most of his stew for me.

Few years down the road, all the money saved eventually saw me through schooling, college and university. Not only did it see me through my education, we had a little extra to shift out from our run down wooden cottage to a better home. Mom made an effort to frame up all my milestone education certificates on the wall of our living room and at the bottom of the large frame housing all the certificates carved the words, "Funded by the Family Piggy Bank". 

Now I am married to a beautiful wife, Susan and we have a 6 months old son.

My family and I are spending Christmas at my dad and mom's. Reaching their place during Christmas eve, as I walked around the house to see how much it has changed since I got married and had a son, I caught a glimpse of a piggy bank by their bed. I smiled and felt a great sense of thankfulness.

Christmas eve dinner was great, we caught up a lot on how things have been. Mom and dad couldn't stop playing with 6 months old Tommy. While they were taking care of Tommy, I helped Susan with the dishes.

After all the cleaning up, it was almost 10 o'clock and I saw dad carrying Tommy into the bedroom. As we crossed paths, my dad's eye caught mine and even though we said nothing we knew we had one of the best Christmas eve ever because of the family piggy bank.

The piggy bank taught me more than any words of a parent could teach me. It taught me about patience, determination, saving, anything small can grow to a substantial size, a promise of a father and mother to their child is a promise for life. 

And that's the Piggy Bank in the eyes of now a man named James.........

Use this end of the year to reflect on how things have been for you. Things have not been good for me this year but it may be better for you. Most importantly, if you are now successful, or becoming successful, or even just out into the working world; remember it was your parents who made the sacrifice to get you to where you are............... Have a splendid Christmas for 2008.

~a chip off the old block~

Sitting in front of my laptop tonight, I find myself trying to figure out what I should write today. It is probably one of those mental block days when ideas do not pop up like they usually do.

Anyway this evening, strangely as I drove into my home porch, I find myself thinking about the unusual quietness tonight. I guess, tonight no one is home since my parents are out for a function.

I find myself strangely missing the usual conversations I have with my dad. Usually when I get home, he'd be back already, other than the occassional nights he gets back later than I do because of business dealings.

The TV is placed fairly close to the porch so if he hears my car driving up the driveway, he'd usually try to get the gate for me although I'd rather he didn't get the gate for me because I'd feel bad about it. We'll usually greet each other and ask how has our day been. And I guess being a chip off the old block, I find myself naturally going for a bucket of water and cloth to start wiping my car if it is not raining. Being like him, I just can't stand driving a dirty car (I can't afford a new car, so I might as well make sure my old car stays like new right?).

While I wipe my car, he'd just hang around and talk to me. We'd talk about anything from government politics to cars and pretty much anything under the sun. Wiping my car whilst talking to him, time just flies like that and next thing you know 20 to 30 minutes has gone by. It is surprisingly nice to have some company while wiping my car.

I find myself reminiscing when I was still a little child, how I'd used to wait up for him till 2 or 3 in the morning to get the gate for him. My mom used to push me to bed about 8 at night but I'd quietly sneak out and just wait up for him, eventually she gave up persuading me to sleep early. I remember how he'd tell me and my elder brother that he's working very hard to make sure a roof stays above our heads. As a little 5 year old, I never truly understood what working hard was about but I knew that whenever he got back early from work he'd come running along to find my brother and I to play, and I clearly remember how happy he'd look calling our names as we run up to him to greet him.

For my dad to come out to start his own small engineering firm, to me is truly a feat given that I have seen many people try to open their own company just to see it go down in under a year or two. Albeit the fact that it is not a big conglomerate with its name known by half the globe, it has been around for 15 years and still going. As a young child, not seeing him during the day meant I had to wait up at night to see him.

Strangely, I never really realised it until today - how he now waits for me to get home, get the gate, accompany me while I wipe my car. That was what I used to do for him as a young boy - wait for him to get home, get the gate and accompany him while he wiped his car. Now that I think about it, I remember I used to play the cassette album Made In Heaven by Queen using his car stereo while both of us sang along whilst he was wiping his car, "I'm taking my ride with destiny, willing to play my part, living with painful memories, loving with all my heart; made in heaven, made in heaven! ........." I hope I got the lyrics right!

I do miss those times - times when you find you do things with your dad without having to worry about having your neighbours think you have a couple of loose screws in the head.

Above all, I believe it is those funny times that I have had with my dad that brings us so close. Many a times, I get friends of mine or even my dad's saying we hardly look like father-son combination but more of a friend-friend combination. I am pretty sure I will not be wrong to say that it is such idiosyncratic things that I have done with my dad that has created such close bonds between the both of us.

Of course there are and will be times when a father and son will knock heads on certain matters, which is simply an inherent part of life whether any of us like it or not. However, there is a saying in Malay "air yang ditetak tidak akan putus"; for those who understand Malay but cannot remember what this idiom means, shame on you................kidding! Anyway, the idiom basically stems from the literal fact that no matter how and what you use to cut/chop/slice water, it will always join back - like family ties, more often than not family arguments are often forgotten after a while.

Come to think of it, I am very lucky and blessed to have a dad like mine, and vice versa for my dad. Bonds like this are hard to come by and definitely cannot be purchased off the shelf. I can definitely learn from this when I become a father in the future, that's IF and WHEN I become one (although prospects do not seem too bright at this juncture! Guess I need to work on gaining more winning points with the opposite sex :P)

These are the little things I experience that makes going home something worth looking forward to! :)