climbing up the ladder of hope and maybe....... despair

Ups and downs are apparently part and parcel of life, that is the saying at least. Going through a slump earlier this year has not helped and as I hit rock bottom in terms of confidence and motivation, I get dealt with another blow smack right in the face! News of one's failure is anything but good news, and most certainly difficult to accept. Facts are facts i guess, can't change something that has already been determined.

So now that most of myself has been shattered to particles close to the size of a dust speck, I now need to repiece the shattered pieces and start climbing up the ladder of life to start from ground zero and building the foundation again. Only problem is, that ladder seems to be a very tall ladder without any end at the top.

For most people, it is a simple task of just getting on with life accepting one's defeat if you want to put it that way. It is not about accepting it but more of feeling the huge sense of frustration seeing that what you have put in has not been matched with an equal outcome. It really makes you thing why bother working so hard. Unfair? Maybe. Horrible luck? Also a possibility........

Mixed with the feeling of frustration, includes the feeling of anger and hate. Expecting to do well after putting in all the time and making sacrifices only to be greeted with disappointing news makes it all the harder to accept and swallow. The feeling hate is further fueled observing people who merrily get along with life putting in less than you and coming out with desirable results! It certainlly makes one wonder whatever happened to cause and effect - drink too much water, you need to go to the loo. So, I put in a lot and get less while some put in less and get more!?!?!? Someone explain the science in that please??