There are always two sides to a coin.......

Many a times, we often see things from our perspective (i.e. from one viewpoint). There was this one time when I had a small discussion with a friend of mine and of course we couldn't come to terms on the subject matter. I could be wrong but I think, we were debating on the ever famous topic of "whether the egg or the chicken came first".

After about half an hour of back and forth comments, my friend finally just stopped and said, "you know what, I'd be more than happy to look at things from your point of view, but I simply cannot stick my head that far up my own rear end!". Both of us ended up laughing at the comment he made so spontaneously, but I have to admit there is some element of truth to his statement - we hardly look at things from a different perspective unless we are forced to.

My maternal side grandfather passed on about five years ago. He did not die from any disease in particular but simply from the expiry of his bodily functions. He literally died at work, at his office desk when everyone else thought he was taking nap not knowing he had already passed on. Until the very last second of his life, he refused to stay at home and insisted on going to work.

He died when he was 78 years of age if I recall rightly, by the time he was 75 years old I could clearly see him deteriorating - congestive heart problems, weak knees, bad cough and high blood pressure constantly making him go dizzy. I am sure he could have lived on longer if it weren't was his drinking habits during his younger days. Not that I can blame him for drinking since he worked in a labour intensive job.

At one point in time, I overheard him telling my mom, "look, if I ever end up in any form of intensive care, just pull the plug. I don't want to be a burden to any of my kids". I respected his decision and I deep down I knew that he knew what he was saying. He was far from being senile and neither was he even reaching that stage.

Few months before he passed on, we already noticed his physical deterioration getting more distinct and knew his time was coming to an end soon. One day, he was squatting down by the garden trying really hard to trim the wild grass and I overheard him talking to himself (not the exact words but something to this effect), "I hate being seen in this horrible condition! Once an independent man doing everything by my own, now humbled like a young child. *sigh*". About 2 months later, my parents got a phone call from my uncle breaking the news of his death.

Ironically, on his last birthday he mentioned something like, "I may not have been rich, but I had a lot of good food during my younger days, drank a lot more alchohol than I should have been drinking but what the heck? But you know what? We all got to go someday. If I die right now, I'd be happy and satisfied - all my kids doing fairly well, eaten all my favourite food and done what I have been tasked to do as a parent. If I ever end up in a miserable state, I'd rather be dead. I don't want any of my close ones to see me in a pitiful condition. I know all of you love me, and I love you guys too. But I don't want any of you to see me when I kick the bucket, I don't want any of you to be holding my hand when I die. That's what you guys want, not what I want. I want to leave this world happy and I don't want any of you crying by my bed. There are two sides to a coin - even when it comes to dying".

5 more minutes.....

During this week, Wednesday to through Friday because of the festive seasons for our Muslims friends. Sadly, work got in the way of the holiday and I had to put aside all other plans I had for the three days and use the time to rush out some urgent matters for my superior. I expanded a fair bit of energy and effort to turnaround everything by the end of Friday so I could still have the weekend to myself.

Saturday evening was surprisingly cooling and I decided to had of to a nearby park to take a sit and enjoy the quietness. I haven't been fishing to close to a year now after my fishing mate went overseas to further his studies.

At the park, I shared the bench with a middle aged man who looked intently over this girl of maybe 5 or 6 years of age, who was cycling around the park. To kill boredom I thought I might as well break the silence and asked him, "Is that your daughter?". He replied with a nice smile, "Yup! That's my girl!".

It was reaching about 6 in the evening and he decided to call his daughter back, and his daughter replied "Dad, five more minutes please?". He then said okay. Five minutes went by and when he called his daughter back, she would ask for five more minutes. As I watched the sunset, the little kept asking for five more minutes and he'd say okay. Watching that happen, I made a passing statement, "Geez, you are a very patient father".

He then looked at me, and somehow I could see some sadness in his eyes. He then said, "Three years ago, I had a son who died at her age in a car accident. Being busy with work, I never really spent time with him and now I'd do anything to get just five more minutes with him. I don't want to repeat the mistake I made three years ago. Right now, she thinks she gets five more minutes to cycle, but in fact I get five more minutes to see her play."

After the two of them left when it was close to dark, I think I sat there thinking about what he said for a good half an hour; I snapped out of thinking when I realised some mosquito was biting me in the foot. Know what? Life is about priorities and 5 minutes to us could be a short time, or sometimes even dreadfully precious when work deadline lingers closely around the corner. But, sometimes 5 minutes isn't about rushing things out or meeting deadlines. 5 minutes could mean spending precious time with a loved one or never having a chance to spend that time anymore with a loved one.