like a spinning top

Have you ever seen a spinning top? How the top player will unleash it from its strings and see how it just keep spinning and spinning and spinning until it finally stops spinning and falls still on its side. Have you ever wondered how amazing it is? I have seen a top being spun by a professional top player and I've got to admit its quite a feat to let it spin for minutes!

A spinning top can metaphorically describe two things. At least the two immediate things that spins into my mind. Number one, how a spinning top can represent the world and number two, how a spinning top can represent our lives.

I think you can very immediately understand how I metaphorically link our world to a spinning top just by how our world physically spins during our every second living in this world. Its just like how much energy our world has, spinning itself around the sun.

I am not sure if you figured out how I relate our lives like a spinning top but let me take the liberty of explaining how I see it. Have you noticed how a top almost spins aimlessly around the floor it is spun on? If you haven't, you can easily search it on YouTube. If you have, you might already know the direction I am heading towards. The spinning top is you and me whilst the floor the top spins is like the world we are in. The energy we exert out in the world - for some its the energy is trying to keep our jobs, for some its the energy spent reaching out for the next level, for some its the energy spent taking care of the family, for some its the energy spent on staying healthy, and you can already tell there is an infinite ways we exert our energy.

There something else to take note too - its the top that spins around the floor. That's just like us revolving around our world and not the world revolving around us. Like a top that's spun on the ground, there is no guarantee we end up where we want to be just like a top that's forced to spin on uneven, undulating ground.

Now, when we take a step back, you are going to see how a top, the world and us are alike. When the energy runs out, everything just stops. A top falls to a stand still when all its kinetic energy is used up. The world official dies when it stops spinning. We will be lifeless once all our energy is used up.

The world we live in isn't infinite. Everything is finite in quantity and someday when we finally drain it of its resources, it'll stop spinning in that sense and that's when we finally arrive at the end of the world. The earth as we speak about it is a ball filled with resources that bring us our food, water, electricity, etc........ but as we abuse it, it will bite back us we the increasing number of natural disasters which signifies the drastic changes we have forced our earth to undergo.

We like our earth don't run on infinite energy. The harder we fight for what we believe in or are we set out to do, the faster we get tired and burn out. Just like how we can throw a top to spin as hard as we can, the energy keeping the top spinning will eventually run out. A pace too fast for us to handle will only spin us out of control into a crashing stop.

Like a spinning top, we should preserve the world for us and for our generations to come. Like a spinning top, its not how about how fast its spins, its about how long it can keep spinning.

So how long will you spin?

Toughest run so far!

Two days ago, I finally entered into my first 21km run hosted by Energizer after having only competed in the 10km runs thus far. From all the trainings I have been doing to increase my stamina and endurance, I knew it was going to be a different ball game altogether compared to the 10km I have been doing all these while. As it stands, I can do 10km comfortably within 1 hour 10 minutes. But with 21km, I only managed 2 hours 53 minutes.

It's not as simple totaling up two 10km runs because as the distance adds on, stamina reduces, endurance starts to dwindle and it all boils down to mental strength and how much physical pain you can take.

As I went through the run, things really got tougher by the minute when I finally breached my 10km comfort zone. Power Gel came in very handy, deep heat stations (albeit insufficiently places) helped to sooth the cramps in my legs. Throughout the run, my mind kept replaying thought of finishing the entire run and complete it within the 3 hour time limit. It really is no easy feat trying to keep myself going mentally when my whole body was getting tired bit by bit.

The last 800 meters was the most painful and the toughest part yest of the entire run. Both my calves were cramped up right to the hamstring. Feeling pain was quite an understatement for me at that point in time but I kept my mind to it and just kept on sprinting the last 800 meters with the pain in my leg, knowing that I was nearing the finishing line and I was still good to make it below the 3 hour mark.

The moment I passed the line, I immediately when down by the side of the track because my legs had seized up and my head was spinning. To make things worse, the organizers did not put any medics or first aid around the finishing line so I was flat on the ground in pain and not attended to. I was lucky my mate managed to pull one of the medics over.

By the far the toughest run I've had so far. With 21km done, I am planning to graduate to the next level - 30km by end of the year maybe?

On a separate note, I'd come to realize that how important it is to be mentally aware and mentally prepared before going on any arduous task - be it at work or at leisure. Got play hard and work hard in this crazy world we live in I guess.

the first and the funniest

I still remember it crystal clear when I first decided to put my cello skills into an unconventional quasi-soft-rock band. To be honest, I had no idea what I was getting myself into and I didn't care simply because I wanted to have some fun playing music. For once in a big blue moon, do what I like doing - making music with my cello. No ridiculous deadlines to meet, no corporate politics, no KPIs to meet and all the other blasphemies of today's hectic world.

In fact, the entire were made of part time musicians having full time jobs as accountants, lawyers, engineers and engineers-to-be so much so that scheduling for a band practise was real task. But when we finally got together to jam it out, we had good fun just jamming our instruments to high heavens trying to make good music, or at least that was the goal!

Band practise didn't really take off until maybe 5 weeks before the performance date and I think we probably only had 1 practise session per week leading up to the performance. So it was very much a race against time. It's strange that the 2 hour sessions we had were really fun despite the fact that we were always trying to coordinate better as a band working our communications, timing, rhythm, adding on to the song to add some zest to it. We did covers of the songs but at the same time we wanted to add our feel, our emotions into it. It was a tiring process, stressing our imaginative brain juice.

Came the performance date, most of us in the band got nervous. Out of the six of us only two of us had real on-stage experiences in the past. Me having played with an orchestra and the lead guitarist who has done a couple of gigs over the last few years. It was the first time for the rest of them.

We played five songs of which I really cannot say we played them well having fumbled as a band with the beats and timing after having just viewed the footage of our performance this evening at my mate's house over dinner. The drummer really struggled with the nerves and made syncing the band tough on stage, the vocalist took a while to get cracking, and all the other bloopers you would expect from first timers. Eventually we did get the cheers from the crowd but whether they were giving us sympathy cheers or not, is something I would probably never know. It was really the first and the funniest performance I have ever done in my entire music 'career'.

As I type this post whilst on my bed just before I go on to catch a shut eye, and think about it, it really isn't about the glamour of being on stage rocking it out like how you see big bands at concert. Hardly the Bon Jovi or Linkin Park rock tour. It's about the fellowship of friends sharing a common interest - to make music and to have heaps load of fun!

When I first joined the band (albeit a very ad-hoc), all the band members hardly knew each other except for the one founding member. Thinking back about it, the practise sessions weren't just about merging the musical minds, it was also a place where people became friends, and those who were already friends became buddies, and those who were already buddies became like family, and those who were family formed even stronger bonds.

Up till today, we have kept in touch with each other, laughing about the blooper-full performance we did that night. From it all, the first and the funniest performance became the epitome of friendship and bonding that is probably going to last for a long time......

tolerating mistakes and misses

If you are going to compare high stakes environment, there is no place else but your work place. These days, transactions become more complex, value of transactions become bigger and accountability becomes more and more crucial. The burden placed on the employees and employers is becoming tremendously heavier. What you write down and sign off can and usually is used against you when a time comes when something really has gone wrong.

The environment has become so hostile that people are governed by fear in the workplace for everyone is so worried about taking of their own rice bowl. It's the scary truth about the workplace we all are absorbed in these days. It has drive things to the point where mistakes and misses are close to not tolerated and for those who make those mistakes are not let off without paying a painful price.

It's strange when three quarter's of the world is preaching about tolerance, the workplace is one where tolerance is hardly practiced, almost like everyday is a high stakes game of the Russian roulette.

"Tolerance isn't a gift, neither is it anything special, but it's the honest feeling in the heart of one person to forgive another for any shortcomings and you must first start with yourself,"

That was what an old friend always used to say whenever he was faced with some mistake of others or if something has gone wrong. He hardly every lost his temper or got upset about it. In fact, this person was my squash coach.

Playing squash competitively was never easy with so much pressure to perform so that you get selected for the state team and then get promoted to the national team. Training was tough and 90% of the time bordering painful physically and mentally. Most of the time training pushed us to the limit physically to the point that you feel like giving up. At least, to the point I felt like giving up.

During training, while trying to achieve the best possible shots and results, the tendency is to try to train for perfection. Funny thing is, how perfection can never be achieved and frustration sets in. There were many times when I broke many racquets during training out of frustration. It reached a point when my coach had to ground me from doing any more drills to prevent me from breaking more racquets.

I always remembered the time when he'd pep talk me during my times of extreme frustration.

"Before you can become perfect, you have to remove the thought about perfection and just go into the court to play your best squash. Playing your best squash isn't about hitting beautiful perfect shots but going into the court and really enjoy the squash you are playing. That's playing your best squash.

In any match you play, there is no way in hell you are never going to make an unforced error or miss shots simply because that's the nature of sports. Mistakes and misses are only natural. You've got to start tolerating mistakes and misses otherwise you are going to burn out very soon and start hating the very game you so love right now. You may not believe me but if you don't start tolerating your own faults and mistakes, someday you are going to find that it'll affect others in that you can't tolerate the mistakes of others.

Look at me for example. If I am going to worked up for every mistake you make in the court, I'll probably die of a heart attack training you.

Remember, the only way you can improve is if you start accepting your mistakes and instead of getting worked up about it, why not shift all that energy into calming yourself down and work on improving, You'll find that it's less tiring and more rewarding. Tolerance is key in this situation."

It's a difficult balance

As my friends and I move along the streams of time, changes are happening, seen and unseen. I have friends who just got married, some new parents and some parents to be. Some even had a paradigm shift in sexuality, which has come as a stupendous shock to me. Most call this process, "moving to the next stage in life".

With the changes taking place, things around us start to evolve. I don't really mean the gargantuan scale ape to man evolution but the evolution of the smaller things in life.

Great things can come in small sizes like my friend's little 4 month old toddler. It's another part of moving to the next stage in life from bachelorhood to married life to parenthood.

When I got to asking him about how it felt to be a father, this was his response:-

"Things have really changed since the time we were schoolmates. Next thing I know, we were in college, uni then, I got married and you were there during my wedding day, and now, you are here with me to celebrate the birth of my first kid. Time really does fly."

"Funny thing is, I was always the one in the group saying I'd never want to get married, wanting to keep my freedom as a bachelor. Next thing I know, I am the first to get married and have a kid! I am happy. Really happy!"

Those were words from the heart of a friend of mine. I just couldn't fathom how he could adapt to so much changes through the years.

Maybe he saw the look in my face or probably already knew what I was thinking in my head.

"Although many people out there may look at getting hitch and married is all happy stuff and romantic like in the movies, it's not quite like that in reality. In fact it was a difficult process for me to adapt so much so that I hated it at times. Going from having all the time in the world for myself to having absolutely no time for myself was painful. I was constantly trying to look for an in-between. You'd know how many break-ups I had over the years. I simply couldn't adapt.

Eventually, I met my wife during when I was in uni and I started to learn to adapt better. I mean, it's like a learning process and as I kept at it, I simply got better at it.

Up till today, I probably don't earn as much as you. If not probably just as much as you. But with a family to feed, the pressure is on me to make sure food is on the table. With a kid now, I have to adapt better and search for a balance in the whole equation making sure I spend enough time with my wife and kid without foregoing myself all together.

Loving my family doesn't mean being with them all the time. I need time on my own to clear my head and just be myself doing my thing. You are going to find that having your own time will be like a race driver testing his car in his home course - knowing each and every braking points, acceleration points, where the bumpy stretches are, etc. If you don't make time for yourself, you'll burn out and lose yourself completely. Take it from me because I have been through it.

It's a difficult balance but I've got to somehow work around it............ but don't worry too much about it man, you'll reach where am I some time in the distant future and I'll still be around to help you go through it. It's never easy trying to balance between yourself and those around you. Never was, never will be but you'll make it as long as you hang in there."

What we fear most

During one of the weekday, I had an interesting encounter while hitching a ride in a friend's car after lunch. Rather, I'd say it was a very funny encounter actually. It was a rare case of arachnophobia. In fact it was my first case of knowing someone who suffers from arachnophobia!

It's funny because we were driving back and just as we are about to enter a roundabout she suddenly starts yelling and freaking out. I am staring at her wondering what in the world just happened? When I say yelling and freaking out, I really mean shouting at the top of her voice almost as if she just saw a ghost coming out from under the driver's seat like in the Japanese horror show Ju-On.

Because we were in a car and she was driving, her sudden reaction like that was scary and freaking out while on the wheel is honestly, really the last thing a passenger would want to see. So I looked at her and asked what just happened and I got this surprising answer - "There's a spider on the windscreen!!!!".

So I turned to look at the windscreen to find a spider. Yes, she was not imagining a spider after overeating lunch. It was a real spider, green in colour about............................... half a centimeter in diameter. I definitely got my facts right when I said half a centimeter. But that's not all. The spider was outside the car and I told her to drive fast enough to blow the spider away but she was so afraid that she was actually convinced that if we left the spider roaming on the windscreen, it'll ultimately find its way into the car. She continued to bug me to get rid of the spider.

Hence, I found myself winding down the window and sticking my hand out to swipe the poor four legged creature from the car.

Despite the good laugh and amusement I had from the scene, it serves as a good reminder to each of us that there's nothing too small that can scare us. There are countless types of fear that each one of us have. Some people find the sight of blood disgusting, some can't take spiders, some afraid of heights, some afraid of the dark, and the list goes on. The funny thing about life is that sometimes the very thing we fear could also be the very thing that could save us in dire situations - imagine you need to jump off a building that's on fire into a fire brigade trampoline when you are afraid of heights.

We are humans and we can be just as fragile mentally and thus, fearing something is almost inescapable. We may not like to admit it but facing our own fears more often than not becomes the very remedy to calming our fears.