it's all in the head or is it really?

This evening marks another bad squash day to the recently string of bad squash days. Over the past few months, I have been playing squash that's close to garbage despite feeling physically good about myself after having been running on a fairly consistent basis to build my cardiovascular tolerance. Only problem is, my game play has dropped almost like I simply can't get into my game, my usual style like I have lost my zing for the game.

Despite people telling me losing a squash match is nothing and what matters most is the exercise, I can't seem to forgive myself for losing in a such an unfashionable manner. It's irritating, especially when you lose to a guy almost twice your age and when you used to beat him months ago.

After having lost the match, I had to ask him how on earth has been able to keep up with me and now surpassed me altogether. He reply was quite startling actually.

"You are probably feeling frustrated and irritated with yourself, no?"

"Er.. yea."

"You know what's your problem?"

"Nope."

"You don't like to lose....."

"I wouldn't go as far as say I don't like to lose."

"Haha.... the more you deny, the more you are admitting to it!"

"Fine, maybe it's true but at the end of the day, who plays to lose in any match?"

"But does winning or losing means something when we play?"

"I guess it does. We are playing a match."

"We are only exercising, although we count points and stuff but it really doesn't matter if you lose. Trying not to lose all the time simply has placed a load of pressure on your shoulders. Like every human being out there, there's only so much load you can take. Some say winning is an attitude but it can only be true when it matters most. Being mentally strong is always a plus point in a sport but not all the time. You've gotta ask yourself this - it's all in the head or is it really?"

To be honest, I am still quite puzzled with what he said but I think what he was trying to get at is to put pressure on myself only when it is necessary. At least I think that's what he meant.......... what do you think?