I call it a life cycle

No matter how smart one is or how gifted one is, there is one thing it can never replace or surpass. In my opinion, that one thing is called experience. It's not a physical mass that exists in this world and neither can you put a value to it. It's simply something you have to hone and pick up as you go.

Experience manifests itself very distinctively in one aspect of our daily lives - our workplace. Every working day, is like a demonstration of experience by those around me - demonstrating the what, how, why and when in performing their duties. Believe me, you can find really amazingly capable people! On the flip side however, you will also find that those who are not so amazing but then again, granted given that not everyone are born into this world to do amazing things.

Yesterday, my boss told me something quite interesting. We were discussing about some project and the topic about technical knowledge was brought up. Like any other office, even my workplace cannot avoid water cooler topics. As usual, there will always be people saying another person is not as good or technically sound, etc. My boss had a very good response to such behaviour.

He said, "All these people who go around saying that person is not technically sound. What makes them so sure they are any better? They should look in the mirror first."

Personally, I couldn't agree more with him. More often than not we indulge in judging the capabilities of others forgetting where we stand. At the end of the day, no matter where we go, we will stumble into some who are abnormal good at what they do and those who are not as good as one might expect of them to be. But isn't that all about learning curve, different people different learning curve?

I call it a life cycle, just like how you and I learn to walk before we can run on our own two feet. Life is a long time of learning and just picking up the skill and knowledge like picking up unique shaped stones while you are walking on a beach. Mistakes, misses, wrong turns are all part of that "stone picking" process we go through. We can't pick nice stones all the time can we?

It's a life cycle! We just have to stroll through it and not try to run ahead of ourselves.........

it's all in the head or is it really?

This evening marks another bad squash day to the recently string of bad squash days. Over the past few months, I have been playing squash that's close to garbage despite feeling physically good about myself after having been running on a fairly consistent basis to build my cardiovascular tolerance. Only problem is, my game play has dropped almost like I simply can't get into my game, my usual style like I have lost my zing for the game.

Despite people telling me losing a squash match is nothing and what matters most is the exercise, I can't seem to forgive myself for losing in a such an unfashionable manner. It's irritating, especially when you lose to a guy almost twice your age and when you used to beat him months ago.

After having lost the match, I had to ask him how on earth has been able to keep up with me and now surpassed me altogether. He reply was quite startling actually.

"You are probably feeling frustrated and irritated with yourself, no?"

"Er.. yea."

"You know what's your problem?"

"Nope."

"You don't like to lose....."

"I wouldn't go as far as say I don't like to lose."

"Haha.... the more you deny, the more you are admitting to it!"

"Fine, maybe it's true but at the end of the day, who plays to lose in any match?"

"But does winning or losing means something when we play?"

"I guess it does. We are playing a match."

"We are only exercising, although we count points and stuff but it really doesn't matter if you lose. Trying not to lose all the time simply has placed a load of pressure on your shoulders. Like every human being out there, there's only so much load you can take. Some say winning is an attitude but it can only be true when it matters most. Being mentally strong is always a plus point in a sport but not all the time. You've gotta ask yourself this - it's all in the head or is it really?"

To be honest, I am still quite puzzled with what he said but I think what he was trying to get at is to put pressure on myself only when it is necessary. At least I think that's what he meant.......... what do you think?

joyous moment of being a papi

Slightly under a month ago, a friend of mine finally became a dad. Yups! He's now officially a papi! A title limited to only those who qualify - that is you have to be married first. Although under limited circumstances some people become fathers even before marriage but that's not what I want to write about.

He had a slightly different experience when it came to his kid. The birth of his little boy was through an induced child birth because he was going overdue if he didn't pop out then. I was curious and I had a good conversation with him trying to find out what he felt throughout the process of the birth of is little boy, D (for anonymity reasons).

It was almost 11 hours before little D took his first breath in this world. That would mean his mom had to endure slightly below 11 hours worth of labour pain whilst giving birth to him. Although this does not translate to 11 hours worth of trying to push the baby out. In that 11 hours, a lot of things happen.

I can't remember the entire process in detail, but I kinda remember the gist of the process. The induced child birth kick starts the entire process, and I think she will start to feel the contractions. Then there will be some form of pain from the contractions that start. Unfortunately, it's a painful waiting game for the mother since she has to wait for the right timing for the baby to come out in terms of making sure the opening is large enough for the baby to given birth to safely.

Waiting sounds simple from a third person's view but for the mother its painful and the waiting can sometimes even drive you up the wall. When the timing is right, that's when the nurses and the doctor will have to move quick to deliver the baby safely.

At the end of it, baby D was given birth to safely and it was great relief for my friend to see both his wife and child are safe. After all, there have been cases of death during child birth and not all child birth go smoothly 100% of the time.

It's amazing when you sit back and think about it, looking at a 9 month process that seems all worth it when you look at the baby take his first breath in this world. You'd be thinking why not just have the kid pop out in under a month or something? But from what i understand that 9 months isn't just about hanging around waiting for a life form to pop out from you. It's more than that. That 9 months is almost like God's way of letting you know, you need that 9 months to prepare yourself emotionally and physically because when you give birth to a child, it's not merely a by-product of sex. It's almost like a lifetime's responsibility - seeing to the baby's needs, education, food, a home, etc....... Not so simple anymore ya?

But before you let all the fear of an additional commitment smack you directly in the face, you should first stop and take the opportunity to cuddle the little baby because that feeling you get in your heart.... that's what I'd call the "joyous moment of being a papi...."

plucking apples?

Recently, I knew of someone who decided to quit her job and go on a journey to New Zealand under the working holiday visa. That means you go around New Zealand plucking apples, peeling clams, pluck grapes and do all sorts of other part time jobs to earn your keep, legally that is. At first it sounded cool. I mean, going to a foreign country for a holiday and at the same time getting to work to cover your sustenance. Almost like living a dream vacation!

But a thought came to my mind, is it really going to be fun plucking apples in a different country? To the extent that an executive level person can decide to drop everything and go on an apple plucking trip, it must seem like something of a whole new level.

I am not here to say that her decision was wrong or whether she could do something else with her life. I am just trying to jot down the thoughts in my head. It's a random thought but I am wondering why should one go to a different country on a vacation but at the same time work part time jobs like plucking apples and stuff. Why not just go on a full blown vacation?

After all, I am just wondering since you can pluck apples in your own country, although it'd probably be more of plucking bananas or collecting riped durians. But you get what I am trying to say - i.e. doing the same stuff in your own country. I can't envisage anyone having time to enjoy the country whilst working. Plucking apples or not, it'll still take a good 6 to 8 hours of your day there. Most importantly, dropping everything you have here for 6 months worth of apple plucking experience. I can't seem to balance out the rationale.

To some people, it's about doing it now or never. To some, it's not even a priority. To some, not even worth the trouble.

Food for thought I guess...... what would you have done, give a choice?