squash, study, squash, study?

This evening I was at one of those crossroads in life, where I had to make a choice between choosing to have fun or study. Anyway, I finally got in touch with the firm's squash team captain and there was a squash practise session today at 6:30pm. Sadly, I had a class at 6:30pm as well. That was when I found myself stuck between the grey line of having to choose between going for my class or going for squash. Part of me was eager to go for squash because the inter-firm games is around the corner towards the end of August, and I really want to play for the firm and be active.

So there I was sitting down and my mind thinking, "squash? study? squash? study? squash? study? squash? study? squash? study?". I really didn't know what to do because I did not want to give the team captain the impression that I was not interested. On the other hand, my class was important since I am pretty weak with that subject. After due deliberation and some deep thoughts, my conscience gave way and I decided I would go for studies instead.

Here was my thought process:

SQUASH:

1. Definitely enjoy the game, challenge and sweat.

2. Might get selected for the team.

3. Good chance to assess the competition within the firm.

CLASS:

1. Improve my knowledge.

2. HELP in my exam.

3. Less guilt.

4. Because it is a catch up class, which the lecturer is not obliged in any way to hold, I'd be disrespecting her efforts if I skipped it.

5. I have to strengthen my basics!

And that's how I decided to go for my class over playing squash. It was a tough decision but I made it............... decisions, decision, decisions *sigh*

The Simpsons MOVIE

Finally managed to find some time to catch a movie. The last time I saw The Simpsons was at least 10 years ago when I was still in primary school. it was like the best hit cartoon series at that time created by Matt Groening. The cracky family, the funny Springfield characters and some really good jokes.

The movie, talks about how Homer Simpson single handedly gets Springfield into trouble by dumping a huge load of waste into the Springfield town lake and creates a massive pollution. The US government then tries to destroy Springfield to eliminate the pollution. Homer then tries to save Springfield and its people.

My verdict - it won't be as good as Transformers but it'll definitely score for humour. It hasn't lost any of its shine from its TV series era. Definitely a good show to watch for a good laugh!

Tired and confused?

Having classes on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays is anything but fun. To top things up, there are additional classes on weeknights on an ad-hoc basis. At this point in time I am very much tired and I am facing bounded rationality - being pounded with information and facts! The tough part is this - having to attend classes after work is already a challenge for my brain. On top of that, my weak basics on the current subject is making the uphill challenge even more challenging than it already is. So everyday my mind is constantly asking itself, "HOW AM I GOING TO TACKLE THIS???".

Being a person that tends to plan things out and thinking about possible outcomes, this time I am all out of ideas and no matter how many times I try to simulate outcomes I only end up with bad outcomes. Working hard is a forgone conclusion when it comes to succeeding in anything one does, but even hard work cannot bring about impossible outcomes. The problem is, all this time I have been relying purely on brute hard work; and now I have come to realise hard work simply is not sufficient.

Right now, I am sinking into a deep sense of frustration knowing the fact that I am weak and struggling. Of course, having work does not help in any way. Time as it is, is already so precious and I had to sleep in office again! This time I only had 10 minutes sleep, and I worked for close to 36 hours. The next day, I looked and felt horrible. I am beginning to wonder if all this is worthwhile or not? A friend of mine recently tried to apply for a permanent resident (PR) status to live in Australia but he was rejected because he could not meet the minimum requirements, which is some point system. Here's the surprising part - he's an ACCA grad, pretty good academic record, with about 2 years experience in auditing and currently doing the CFA qualification. How on earth could he not be accepted? Then came the bomb shell, apparently auditors aren't really in demand in Australia.

Bottom line -------- I am tired and confused!

Another late night at work.....

I just got back about half an hour ago. I am totally buggered and my mind is drifting off slowly into slumber land. Deadline for this current job is somehow really tight and with the lack of manpower, the job will undoubtedly be delayed. The start of peak may well be around the corner; or it could already be the start of peak.

Once again, engaged with a public listed company; deadlines are always tight with all the regulations set by the Stock Exchange. Clients are rushing us, in turn our superiors rush the juniors like myself. I started work at 9:30 this morning and I have been working right up to 2 in the morning. At this point in time, the hold up is coming from the clients because like any auditor, changes and fluctuations that occur in the financial statements must be explained reasonably; and the clients have yet to get back to me on certain fluctuations which I have queried about.

Today was also the round table meeting, whereby all the seniors, managers and partners meet up to discuss the performance of staff during the year for the September promotion. Yes, I am one of the staff due for promotion this coming September. How did it go? I do not know since everyone seem to be secretive about the proceedings of the round table. My only hope is that I did well and I scored well to get a good promotion. After all, a reasonably good increment might be awaiting me; or I might only get promoted marginally. Whichever way, there are certainly more room improvements and I certainly would want to improve on any weaknesses I may have.

Refreshing thoughts~

Coming to the end of July, the day of my June exam results draw ever more closer. Deep down inside, I am scared half to death and the wait is pretty frustrating for me. All the 'what ifs?' and the unwanted thoughts that can sometimes be a real pain. Strange isn't it, how our mind can generate so much thoughts and more often than not, it is simply not controllable. Anyone knows why? I doubt there is a concrete answer to that question. --------- Strange but true eh?

A thought to share - I was actually having a chat with an assistant manager (AM) in my firm two days back, anyway this AM is currently overseeing the engagement I am working on. I guess she knows I am always uptight with work and always working towards meeting deadlines but she mentioned something that really gave a 'knock-knock' on my head. She knows I have weekdays classes and, she did say if I have to leave early for class she has no qualms about it. So, I replied saying no worries I will try my best to cover as much ground as possible so we could meet the deadline. After all, not being able to meet deadlines forms a pretty bad image of the firm. She understood my point, but she said something really important - "Your studies are important. Honestly, no matter how good you are at your work no one will pity you if you fail your exams". To be honest, it actually took me a while to stomach that statement; part of me was in a state of denial probably because I thought work was like the pinnacle of everything as long as I am working for the firm. My employment essentially means I owe a duty of care and dilligence to the firm. But what lies in her statement is a big piece of truth that really struck a bell.

The thing about my firm is, that there is a promotion barring system whereby if you do not complete a certain amount of papers within a given duration, you basically get hold up and not get promoted. If I give my AM's statement a serious thought, she is totally correct and I have seen many good workers leave the firm simply because they couldn't move up further because of failing one paper. It is sad but very true! Once again, it simply reinforces my opinion - the working world is far from being forgiving and kind.

Wolf's Rain - a review

In a post-apocalyptic future where humans live in domed cities surrounded by wasteland, wolves are assumed to be two hundred years extinct. Yet wolves do walk among them, disguising themselves as humans in order to survive in the human world. Now four young wolves will follow the scent of Lunar Flowers on a dangerous quest to find that which legend promises them: Paradise.

The plot in itself is very interesting, unlike the common animes that show either a far inclination towards romance or those that bend more towards action. This show talks about wolves that were once used to be proclaimed as mystical animals. Somehow, as the world degraded; their numbers slowly diminished and they were assumed to be extinct.

The main four wolf characters - Kiba, Toboe, Tsume and Hige decide to journey to a place only known as Paradise, a place no one knows what it looks like or even where it is. Somehow, every wolf has the urge to go to this Paradise. Myth has it that it is a place of utter beauty and everlasting peace.

Characters:

Kiba (キバ (牙), Kiba lit. "Fang")

Voiced by: Mamoru Miyano (Japanese), Johnny Yong Bosch (English)

The (more or less) leader of the "pack", Kiba is an arctic wolf who follows his instincts towards Paradise. When he was young, his pack and family were slaughtered when the forest where he lived was burned to the ground by Jagara's troops. He was then raised by a shaman who told him that he had a purpose,explaining why the forest had sheltered him from the flames. The shaman told him that he would have a great journey ahead of him, and that journey was to find paradise. Kiba begins his quest for paradise in the hope that there he will finally find peace. It is revealed later in the series that he is in fact the chosen one who is destined to find and open paradise.

Tsume (ツメ (爪), Tsume lit. "Claw")

Voiced by: Kenta Miyake (Japanese), Crispin Freeman (English)

Tsume is a rough, self-reliant wolf. In the past, he was part of a pack. However, one day his pack was attacked by Jagara's troops and many of his comrades were killed. During the fight, Tsume attempted to flee, leaving all of his dead and dying brethren behind. Because of this, the rest of his group disowned him and the leader attacked him, leaving him with a large X-shaped scar across his chest. Filled with shame, Tsume didn't assosciate with other wolves for many years, and became the leader of a group of human thieves. However, he eventually meets Toboe, who at first seems to annoy him. However, Tsume later feels sympathy and compassion for Toboe, who is the one who eventually convinces him to come with the rest of the "pack" to Paradise. Initially, he doesn't believe the stories of Paradise, and claims he only follows the others out of boredom of his original home. He often finds himself in conflict with Kiba, finding his single minded devotion to be irritating. However, he does eventually become a believer and enjoys the company of his pack mates. After Kiba, he is the best fighter among the wolves and is more analytical and observant. Tsume's size and colour shows him to be a Russian Wolf or tundra wolf.

Hige (ヒゲ (髯), Hige lit. "Whisker")
Voiced by: Akio Suyama (Japanese), Joshua Seth (English)

Hige seems to know how to function the best in human society, even wearing a dog collar, although the true meaning behind his collar is revealed later in the series. He tends to use his intuition more than the others, but only when he's not thinking with his stomach instead. Hige something of a womanizer and is always on the look-out for a female companion. He starts off as a laid back joker, though he matures as the series goes on. Hige seems to be a Mexican wolf in the series.

Toboe (トオボエ (遠吠え), Toboe lit. "Howling")

Voiced by: Hiroki Shimowada (Japanese), Mona Marshall (English)

Toboe is the youngest of the group, often acting more like a puppy than a wolf. Toboe was raised by an elderly woman as a pet, whom he accidentally killed in an unrestrained act of playfulness. The silver bracelets are all he has left of her. Toboe maintains an affection for humans that none of the other wolves can understand (with the exception of Blue). Toboe looks up to Tsume and usually follows him when the group splits up. He also seems to have the best hearing out of all of them. Toboe's colour, lean frame and large ears indicate he is an Indian Wolf or an Arabian Wolf. He often is more shy than bold, although when the pack is in dire threat his rage can stand beyond his timid nature and propel him ravenously into battle.

Theme songs

• Opening theme: Stray (lyrics: Tim Jensen, composition and arrangement: Yoko Kanno, performance: Steve Conte)
• Ending theme: Gravity (lyrics: Troy, composition and arrangement: Yoko Kanno, performance: Maaya Sakamoto)
• Ending theme (featured in episode 26): Tell Me What The Rain Knows (lyrics: Chris Mosdell, composition and arrangement: Yoko Kanno, performance: Maaya Sakamoto)

Conclusion:
Artwork: 9/10
Plot: 9/10
Character voices: 8/10
Theme songs: 7.5/10

Me new phone!

Yup! That is my new phone; just got it this evening and I must say I am really impressed with all the features inside this phone. For those who do not know, this model is the Nokia 9300 communicator. More details about this phone can be found here.

For me, this phone pretty much has everything that I need. Ever since my old PDA of five years decided to retire on me a few months back; I suppose this phone is a good replacement. Being rather reliant on a PDA, jotting down reminders on rough sheets of papers has not been very effective for me. To give you a rough idea of how much convenience this phone gives me - imagine carrying a miniature laptop in your pocket! That's how useful this phone is to me.

Some key features:

• Advanced voice features: handsfree speakerphone, conference calling
• Full keyboard and two 65,536 color displays
• Messaging options: email with attachments, SMS, MMS
• Office applications: document, spreadsheet, presentations
• Organizer: Calendar, Contacts, Tasks with PC synchronization via Nokia PC Suite software
• Large memory storage: 80MB built-in memory expendable with MultiMediaCard (MMC)
• High speed data connectivity with EGPRS (EDGE)
• Mobile Internet connectivity
• Tri-band (EGSM 900/1800/1900) operation for use in five continents

Pursuit of Happyness, an inspiration ~

Chris Gardner is a bright and talented, but marginally employed salesman. Struggling to make ends meet, Gardner finds himself and his five-year-old son evicted from their San Francisco apartment with nowhere to go. When Gardner lands an internship at a prestigious stock brokerage firm, he and his son endure many hardships, including living in shelters, in pursuit of his dream of a better life for the two of them.

It is a pretty old show for most of us, but I finally got to see it today. Although the reviews were not to favourable, personally I felt it was a really good show.

All of us, day in day out complain about not having enough dough to survive the ever increasing cost of living. This story however, showed how a single parent brought up his child from sleeping in public places to sleeping in shelters rushing from the non-salary paying intern program daily just to make sure they both were ahead of the queue at a charity home to ensure a roof above their heads for the night.

For those who do not know, Chris Gardner in this story is the same Chris Gardner who founded Gardner Rich - one of the biggest brokerage firm in the United States.

Fighting all odds, from his wife leaving him, getting evicted from his home, having to care for his boy - he found success! One thing so prevalent was his determination. I quote from the show, "Chris, if you have a dream, you gotta go get it. Don't let no body stop you from getting it!" - those were the words he told his boy.

It really does give me some inspiration - while his kid was sleeping at night, he did his homework to make sure he was informed for work. While others thought they were smarter and more qualified than him, he kept pushing on. It was somewhat disgusting to see the darker side of humans. In parts of the show, there were many scenes of how many of his peers in the intern program looked down on him and showed utter disrespect for him. However, out of the twenty interns only one will be allowed a job at the end of the six month internship - that one person, was him.

Success, clearly did not fall from the sky nor was it handed to him on a beautiful silver platter like many we know. For me, this was an eye opener! Many think they have been through hell and back - but seeing how a father and his son endured homelessness, being broke and desperate make it big; that's what I call being through hell and back.

Buying time

Having to grow up in a city so commercialised and fast-paced really highlights the issue of not having enough time. More often than not, I hardly get time for anything. Just to give you a rough idea of how my schedule is like:

Weekdays - time is totally devoted for work, if I get to leave work early I use the extra time for revising.

Weekends - I have to attend part time classes that last the whole day (i.e. 2pm to 8pm, 8am to 4pm).

That pretty much sums up how much time I have for myself. Bluntly said, I do not really have life! Time is truly of the essence in situations like this - having no time for oneself is pretty dreadful if you ask me. Time, for me is like a rare commodity that continues to be elusive.

Every now and then, I take a time out and try to ask myself whether am I managing my time badly, or is it simply because there are too many things at hand that are of high priority? Work is no doubt one of the biggest time eaters in my life. Secondly, of course my studies which is also due to work requirements. I make notes, I make reminders, I even plan my time but sometimes I just cannot squeeze out more time for me to do other things. Obviously, there are definitely more things to life than just working and working! I get less time to listen to music and even less time to read books (in case you do not know, I love reading sci-fi books especially books written by Michael Crichton). I bought four books about two months ago and I have just started on one book. From the bottom of my heart, I really miss reading (and it is one of so many things I really want to do).

If buying time was an option, I'd truly buy time~

Group Trip to Pangkor

Friday morning on the 6th of July 2007, my department and I set out for Pangkor Island.Well, not exactly Pangkor but we were setting out for Lumut (a place near Pangkor) at about 8am. As usual, having to wake up during the wee hours of the morning was a pain but I managed to get ready in time and got to my office ahead of schedule, where the bus was already waiting for us. Being a Malaysian, I had to have breakfast - none other than the typical Malaysian morning 'mamak' breakfast! :)

I brought my storybook, which I bought about 3 months ago and unfortunately had no time to read due to work. So I figured it was the best time to catch up on my books. But I did not really get much of a chance to read on the bus because it was filled with team building activities. At first I wasn't too fond of those activities because it was getting in the way of my book but it turned out to be pretty amusing. Because we were heading down to Lumut, and being near the sea and beach, the theme for the trip was 'Pirates of Loomoot'. So the first team activity was to create a chant for the team and create a team flag. After doing all that, we had to chant it out in front of everyone and yes, it was done in a public area - one of the rest areas by the highway.

Along the way in the bus, we had brain teasers that required some brain cracking (ironic, considering a holiday is to RELAX the mind and not STRESS it!). But I admit, it was quite fun to try some games like that with some team spirit added to it.

We had two sets of treasure hunts, since we made two stops at two different tourist spots. This one was pretty interesting - how it worked was that each team were given clues to finding a shop name. The clues included anagrams, jumbled words that should point us to exactly which shop the clue is referring to. Each of those hunts took us about an hour or so in the hot sun; wasn't so bad for me but most of the girls definitely did not like the heat!

By the time we got to the resort it was about 6pm and, me and some of my friends headed out for canoeing. That was really fun. I was a little bit nervous at first since I have never done it before but when I got the hang of it, it became a lot easier and less frightening. However, it was quite tiring having to paddle left and right trying to balance the canoe and keeping it from capsizing.

After all the travelling on the bus and some fun canoeing, it was dinner time. Dinner was less impressive since the food was not as good as most of us expected. The grilled seafood did not taste so good - more accurately it tasted like it was not cooked well. So I skipped most of the seafood and went for other more cooked stuff. On top of that, the lamb and beef they surfed on the buffet table were as hard leather and as bouncy as a rubber tyre! But, there were other better fried stuff on the buffet table which I gladly feasted on, plus pretty good tasting desserts.

Here are some of the photos I took during the dinner:

THE LAST PHOTO is the group photo of my team, that won the treasure hunt! Alright, alright, maybe the first two photos were quite unnecessary but hey, it's all about fun rite?

Time for some precious rest~

After the gruelling months of slogging through late nights and communicating with less-than-helpful clients, work is finally beginning to slow down for these few days. It is a great relief in many ways and it is indeed great to really get a short break from all the pressure.

Moreover, my department has arrange for us to go down to Lumut (where Pangkor Island is situated). Should be a pretty decent trip for 3 days 2 nights, not too long and not too short a time for a relaxing trip. Should be some team building events for us, which I don't really fancy seeing it as boring. On top of that, losing teams have to end up doing punishments! But, I guess the highlight of the event would be orientation for the newcomers! Now, that's what I call entertainment! After all, I too had to be orientated when I first joined the firm! My turn to get a good laugh.....

My cute niece!!

Isn't she the cutest thing? That's my niece, about 8 months old if I recall rightly.

Here's another one. Finally got the photos from my girlfriend's camera phone today! :)