hiatus!

After having been online on the ~Path of Time~ since 2006..... it is going to be hard, painful and sad.

As of today, I will officially stop writing on the ~Path of Time~. For those who have continued to read my posts, I thank you very much for taking timeout to read my posts. I am not sure if all my writings were great but I'll be happy to know even if it was only one post that reached your heart.

I may one day pick up from where I left off here but only time will tell. Who knows I might even start afresh? Until next time.......... time stops ticking for the ~Path of Time~

There's always tomorrow....

After so many years since the passing of my late grandfather, I still remember he's favourite words every time my grandmother nagged him about procrastinating and having a bad habit of taking his time to get things done - "There's always tomorrow.....".

In today's environment and the burgeoning need to make money and earn millions, that phrase may longer be valid. Notwithstanding that, I would still like to emphasize that sometimes there could be a great need to wait for tomorrow to do something!

Let's ponder about this for a moment or two. Speeding through things and always being in the mode of trying to get things done is good because you are efficient but whilst being efficient enables you to get things done, you may not be so effective. Okay, I admit I might be over-exaggerating on the bit of being ineffective as more often than not you would be effective along with being efficient if you have exercised due care in whatever you are doing. 

My point is should we some times take breaks in between and allocate tasks one day at a time instead of insisting of getting everything now, today, right this moment? You may not know it but today's world that constantly revolves on delivering results within short periods of time has made us into machines that simply demand things on go. In fact it may have even deferred from, "I need it now" to "I need it yesterday" to "I need it months ago!". Has the world become so focused on profit making that all that matters is that we just get things done now so that decisions can made now so that every single cent of profit can be made? Is that all that matters today?

I guess we sometimes forget that if we do take a step back and scan things through one more round before getting something done, we could be better off. For example, sometimes one more reading of the email before you click send points you to a couple of grammatical or typo errors, waiting one more day to buy something off the shelf leads you to realise there is another shop down the road offering the same product at a higher discount or sometimes by some divine fluke you decided to pump petrol the next day and find out the petrol station you wanted to go to got robbed around the time you wanted to pop by to fill up petrol.

Although sometimes certain things do happen beyond your control either by chance or some higher authority above, getting things done and having it now simply may not be ideal. Waiting another day or two really couldn't hurt anyone. At the end of the day, we are not machines that manufacture things at a specific speed, specific quantity and at specific time and we can't discount the fact that even machines fail - imagine us? Humans are prone to fatigue and wrong judgement calls, and yet we are pushed to perform like machines.

So, my grandfather may not have been wrong in delaying matters..... there really is always tomorrow......

you'll never get 100% acceptability

It is very common for us to get second opinions especially on the things that matter most to us like matters concerning our health, relationship, property investments, changing a car, etc. It is in such situations we tend not to trust our own judgement entirely and seek the opinion of others. Not surprising since the stakes would generally be higher when we need to decide on important matters in our lives.

I guess the main stem of the problem is all about trying to balance out the formula below:

PROS + OPPORTUNITIES - CONS - RISKS = DECISION

When standing at the crossroad of our lives, we end up trying to juggle how much benefits and opportunities we want to maximise from our choices without giving away too much cons and opening ourselves to unnecessary risk. That's when we start doing what we accountants call, "opinion shopping" - we go all out speaking to as many as people as we can trying to see if everyone can give us a piece of the formula so that we can finally make our minds. 

It is all well and good trying to get different sides of the story because different people have different experiences that can make us grow and learn. Whilst absorbing the views of others are good in terms of giving you a holistic view but we absorb too much of the views of others we end up with a myriad of views and end up spinning to many permutations and thus, blurring our observation. At the end of all the opinion shopping, instead of a decision you get indecision.

Hence, it may be good to sometimes just take some time out to think for yourself what you want out of the decision you are trying to make. At the end of the day, the decision you intend to make affects you the most so why let the opinion of others cloud your mind into fearing the unknown. Trying to figure out and break down every unknown in your life is as good as trying to play God and predict the future, which you can try and not get any results in a million years. Those who try, don't get it right all the time - weather forecast, stock exchange analysts, horse racing pundits, football pundits and the list goes on.

What you need in a decision making process is an acceptable level of acceptability - acceptability in your mind and not others. Set a threshold and if you think it meets that threshold, that's when you know whether it's a go or no go. At the end of the day you'll never get 100% acceptability for one reason - life's hardly perfect.

anachronism or good 'ole observation

I recently attended a "full moon" celebration of my colleague's child. "Full moon" here means one month old. It's a Chinese tradition to celebrate a child's coming of a month old. My colleague comes from a traditional Chinese family and so during the dinner whilst his mom was carrying the baby, she brought up the topic of what you shouldn't do during pregnancy and after pregnancy to ensure the toddler's and the mom's health.

Some of the interesting ones were:
1. Always get a confinement lady to help around for the first couple of weeks after mommy has given birth;
2. During pregnancy don't drill holes or hammer nails around the house the family is going live in;
3. Don't eat certain food stuff during pregnancy;
4. During the first few months of the child's life, ensure proper sleep posture, use pillows to keep the head straight; and
5. A whole lot more of stuff you should or shouldn't do (I really couldn't keep track of so many when she was talking about it).

So that's what I heard from "old school" mom so to speak.

On the flip side, a relative of mine is a pharmacist. She has got very differing views when it comes to such practices. Well, to put it in a nutshell you can call her "non old-school" or simply, modern-thinking. I found out her hard stand on not believing old popular beliefs. She called it anachronistic. I wouldn't say she's wrong since I am not qualified and even if I did say she's wrong, I probably can't own up to it anyway.

Despite the fact that medical professionals discount these so called "old beliefs", I can't help but think there's got to be some truth to these so called "old beliefs". If such beliefs were indeed untrue, how is it possible that so many old folks seem to come up with the same or at least very similar beliefs? It couldn't possibly have just popped out from nowhere or some genius decided to say, "Don't do this during pregnancy lest you want this to happen".

Big question is - are we now in a day and time where we face anachronism or were all these practices an accumulation of observation done by those people during that day and time?

I guess at the end of the day, call it old fashioned, anachronism or superstition or whatever you wish to brand it, you can't really deny this - whether you believe in it or not, there is no harm playing it safe. Either way, sometimes the old folks do know more than us for one simple reason - experience.

Something to ponder about maybe?

ever noticed dew?

Water is pretty the beacon of life. Staying sufficiently hydrated throughout the day keeps us going. But all that is water at a medium to large scale. Ever wondered how significant a water droplet can be? 

I don't think most of us take a step back to imagine where all the water come from. I guess, like everything else around us, there must be a start from someone or somewhere or somewhat. So let's see where a water droplet may lead us to and how we can relate to a tiny drop of water.

The easiest of an example of a water droplet would be dew. Tiny little drops of water that form on leaves or surfaces early in the morning when its pretty cold. For those of us who are fairly early birds, you can catch the sight of dew in the your garden or your backyard. It may not be noticeable but if you notice areas in your home where it is leafy, you quickly notice that some parts of your garden tend to collect a small pool of water. I haven't sat down beside a plant to observe where all the dew goes to but I can logically hypothesize that the dew get accumulated on leaves and as more and more accumulate, the leaves cannot hold the weight of the dew, and then gravity does the rest.

So let's take a step back and ask ourselves, "have we ever stopped to realise when dew forms, where does it go to or what it does for us?". I am guess probably be not because even I never really thought about it, being too busy with life (or at least that's what all of us say). I may have noticed dew on the plants in my backyard but let's face it, we tend not to notice small stuff like this given that we are cultured by society to think BIG, look BIG, no?

Notwithstanding that dew can be the impetus for unruly fungus that inhibit the growth of certain plants, did you know that all that dew either goes into the earth to hydrate the plants around it or evaporates to create the moisture in the air so that we get rain and not dry up?

Whilst its the big waves, and continuous rains that causes the likes of tsunamis and unwanted floods, we often forget its dew that keep our soil furtilised and moisture in the air, and who knows the tiny drop of dew was the advent of great lakes and wonderful scenery that come with it!

I guess if we equate it to our lives, big splashes sure hits the headlines but headlines create expectations and with great expectations comes great pressure, which can turn ugly - famous people in divorce cases, family problems, unwanted publicity and what not. Small little miracles in our lives on the other hand creates the big waves in our hearts - the birth of a newborn, your first pay check, your first car......... Small little miracles are like dew in that they don't make the news but it complete us from the inside!

pace of change

Leapfrog would probably be the best adjective to describes today's environment in which we live and work in. Means of communication has gone from smoke signals to snail mail, to sms, to mms, to e-mails and today, e-mails on the go. Even then, leapfrog might still be an understatement to describe the change we have all undergone.

Change, according to many, is the only constant in our lives. I think we all cannot deny the truth in that statement. But change like all things has its good, its bad and its ugly side.

Let's take a step back and observe the good this leapfrog change has brought us. We now have Internet, we can connect with virtually anyone in the world with a blink of an eye. Some of us who dare venture into the world of business and e-commerce find themselves an ocean of money churning, mouth watering opportunities. Some of us simply find good entertainment in mediums such as Facebook, Twitter and Youtube. Convenience is now at a whole new level when you can shop, pay bills and do a plethora of chores with a couple of clicks from the comfort of your own home.

Then, there's the bad. The very medium that brings us convenience and entertainment has now become the same source of misdemeanour and crime. Online crime has increased at a burgeoning rate, we more and more cases of e-fraud, identity theft and much more taking place. It appears, that e-money-making can be done the good way or the bad way. Some have even gone as far as using the Internet and other sophisticated hardware for espionage work. With the capabilities of technologies reaching the skies, so does the ample number of opportunities to prey on misinformed, it seems.

Bad, I guess isn't enough and hence, we have the ugly. My take on change is that radical change is good for shake ups and in times when you want to jolt someone from dream land but radical change without control can lead to a plethora of issues. We need not stray far to find examples. We need only to look at the state of our country for instance (Malaysia, for those who are not aware).  But before I go on, please note this is not a post about which political party is better. Today, Malaysia has gone from mining and agriculture into a time of industrialisation and now, quasi-industrialisation-service-based. We find people have higher purchasing power, more liberty to have luxury items. 10 years ago, the ability to turn on the air conditioner for long hours was for the rich and famous, these days everyone can afford to turn on the air conditioner for long hours at a time. Luxury cars like BMWs, Mercs, Audis, were toys of big guns 10 to 15 years ago when you would only see middle-aged or older people driving them because they had reached the top, these days you see people as young as in their mid-twenties driving these hefty price tags on wheels.

As much as luxury products sound good, there is a flip side to all this. You'd realise there really is a great divide between the rich and the poor. Those people in the in-between are slowly being forced into either one of these categories. Singapore is another example, despite all the talk about it and the talk about fortunes rolling in that country, you still see many living in poverty or a majority of its people still leaving in Government subsidized flats. The most adverse of by-products from rapid change is social problems. 15 years ago in Malaysia, you could walk out on the streets in the middle of the night with a Rolex and have midnight tea. These days, you'd be lucky to walk away from just having the watch taken from you without losing your hand.

Change is good in that, in forces to improve and better ourselves but we ourselves have to be clear in our minds that we are not merely existing to keep up with the Joneses. Otherwise, we simply end existing with the pace of change and not living on the pace of change......... this is my food for thought for the day....

bad day?

A "bad day" is something most of us go through these days with the pressure from family, work, finances and what not. Show me a person who says every day is a beautiful day and I'll show you God. Don't get me wrong though, I don't meant to be pessimistic, I am a realist. 

Although not 100% of the time, but I tend to hold this belief that:-
"What I need to get done, I get it done as soon as possible with the least energy. What I don't need to do, I just don't do".

We spend, at least in this part of the world, a good 12 to 14 hours working, rushing to meet deadlines and commitments so much so that burning out is something you see coming straight at you like a bullet train and you having no time to dodge it. Despite the lucrative monetary benefits that can even get you salivating, we still burn out and next thing you, every day is a bad day - you get irritable, people annoy you, the littlest of sounds prick you like a 1000 needles, and suddenly the world is against you! 

I was browsing around the net over the last few days just before catching a shut eye after a long day at work. Ironically, I was listening to Daniel Powter's Bad Day. I love the video clip, the melody and the lyrical irony thrown into the song. Then I realised that I haven't really heard or seen much of Daniel Powter. 

Did a random search and turns out after making millions from Bad Day, he spun off into a life full of promiscuous sexual relationships, drug abuse and alcohol. Again, the irony in the fact that the same person who wrote a beautiful song about a bad day seems to had a long drawn out bad day working through rehab and getting himself back into the right frame. 

Now trying to bounce back, I quote and unquote Daniel, "I thought maybe I should sleep with hundreds of women and do drugs on the road to live up to the pop star image, when really I’m just a regular guy. But I lost touch with reality and the trigger for going to rehab was that I was so paranoid and underweight, I was in danger of dying". 

I guess for most of us it's not surprising he became another statistic considering how many pop stars wind up in such a situation but point to take home is that (and you may agree but I am penning it down anyway! =0P) we go all out trying to make that one extra buck so you can buy that car, that necklace, that house, that wedding ring and all the "wants" in life you can come up with. But to what end? When you finally got what you want, you realise your list of "wants" grows longer and you keep pushing hard to earn a few more extra bucks to maintain and entertain those "wants" and before you know it, you find yourself living a life full of "bad days" having succumb to what I call the need "social acceptability".

So take a step back and ponder about it before you decide to run off chasing the dream of "wants" because you might just end up living a life of "bad days" spending time, money and effort on things in life you don't need so you can please people you don't like. 

Hope you have a nice day! =0)

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-1084719/In-taxi-8230-Reformed-Bad-Day-bad-boy-Daniel-Powter.html#ixzz20swtHxBt

might as well go all the way if you are halfway there..

Ever since  i got my car about a decade ago, wiping my car and keeping it gleaming had become a part of my daily to-do. Actually those close to me call it my must-do because no matter how late i get back from work i'd still clean my car before i head to bed.


Call it OBD it you may but i simply care for my car above and beyond thd level of an average joe and it's really a matter of preference when it comes to giving my car that bit more detail of attention.


Ok, anyway, this post isn't about my car although it does make reference to me and my car. Well, for the past 5 weeks or so, I have been getting back from work at obscene hours. I am talking about leaving the office at 2am, 2.30am, 3am sort of crazy times. I think that works out to about 18 working hours a day on average. Believe you me, it's not a very nice way to spend your day.

Despite coming back home in the wee hours of the morning, I'd still wipe my car. When I mean wipe my car, that'd be the top, the bottom, the wheels and then the interior. Since I don't own a large, luxury car or a large reasonably priced car, I only need about 30 minutes in all to wipe my car down.

There some days where I took a step back and thought, "Most people are only going to look at the top and the wheels, so maybe I can skip wiping the bottom and get me a bit more sleep time.". Then, I took another step back and realised that if I have already expended my energy on the top and the wheels (wheels typically take a bit more time due to the patterns on the rim and the more dirt it picks up), I might as well just spend the next few minutes doing the bottom and I'd eventually get a gleaming car from top to toe or rather, "roof to wheels".

All so often we think of doing something and by the time we finally get started on it, we somehow lose steam and shy away from completion. But if we really sit down and gave it some thought, it doesn't make sense because you would expended quite a fair bit of time, energy and in some cases money simply to get you halfway day only for you to abandon ship. Is it not then wasteful to a very large extent?

I like to use my car as an example because it's easy to explain. Every night when I am finally done wiping the car, I can take a step back and just look at the gleam. It puts a smile on my face and ends my bad day at work. Had I just stopped at the top and the wheels, I'd still see the gleam on my car but I know, in the back of my head, I'd be telling myself, "Hmmmmm.... but you didn't do the bottome.....". It's not really an honest piece of satisfaction, if you know what I mean.

So the point I am trying to bring across is that, if you have already committed to something and you might as well go all the way and see to the finish line if you are halfway there, irrespective of the results. At least you tried, you know you tried and that's more than enough a reason to give yourself (I mean YOU) credit and be proud!

keep looking upwards, you'll only get a neck ache

Looking up to someone, admiring someone, yearning to be that someone, working towards being that someone is a wonderful thought don't you think so? Every now and then, we find ourselves procrastinating about how nice it would be to be a high flying CEO, CFO, COO, partner of a law or accounting firm, big time entrepreneur. It can be rejuvenating and at the same time motivating knowing that some day, some time in the future, all your back breaking effort and hard work will finally pay off.

On the flip side, we can find ourselves stopping at the procrastination part and not moving forward. That is to say, mere thought with no or little follow through actions.

I find it very common among my peers to talk about some of the following topics:
1. That someone really got up that position fast.
2. That someone is the youngest person to be made partner.
3. That someone drives a Porsche to work.
4. That someone has a yacht.
5. Somebody, somewhere has something (you know what I mean from hereon).

You would likely find it common that the people who say those things above are the same people who find themselves in the everyday rut wondering why they never seem to progress or the whole world seems to be plotting against them. Yet, it is either that they choose not to admit it or they are simply naturally ignorant to the fact that they are not doing what is needed to be that someone.

One does not become the next Yo Yo Ma by merely playing simply cadences or practising a mere half hour a day. One does not become the next Roger Federer by hitting tennis balls aimlessly without proper technique (putting aside talent). One does not become a Sebastian Vettel hopping into a race car and flooring the accelerator. Some of these people are the product of dedication, self belief and most importantly, repeatedly doing what needs to be done to differentiate themselves from the world at large.

The best example I can give you is Rafael Nadal. Some of you may not necessarily agree with my views and please do beg to differ if you do feel the need to. I started following Rafa's progress in the world of tennis when we beginning to move the rank. In the initial years, he would always get whooped by Federer in many Grand Slam finals and eventually he would overcome Federer. The one thing that set him apart from many including the great Federer is the fact that in every match Rafa always ran down every ball, every shot giving all he could to retrieve every ball that came into his side of the court. Another one thing was that he never changed his coach, Uncle Toni despite certain moments in his career when everyone, including me thought he was on the downhill. Not changing his coach meant his uncle has spent so much time with him to know his match temperament, techniques and shortfalls. Basically Uncle Toni knows the good, the bad and the ugly of this game due to sheer time they have spent together and the bond they have formed.

Rafa's rise to fame and the many wins he has secured is the product of him looking upwards at someone he wanted to emulate but at the same time looking in front of him, clearing one hurdle at the time. For someone like him who looked up and looked forward at the same time, what he got was a linear growth.

For the ordinary people like the most of us who always procrastinate more than getting down to the action, we are stuck in the looking upwards mode. Only problem is, if you keep looking upwards, you'll only get a neck ache......

knowing you did something about it

There are always those unmistakable moments when you take a pause in your life and you'd say, "I should have done it!". I think it's common for most of us because of mistakes we make and sometimes, the indecision that tends to hinder our decision making process.

Let me tell you about a real experience I had with a close friend of mine. For anonymity sake, let's call him Eric.

Couple of years back, Eric was battling out a business law suit that nearly shattered his business and his family. I knew Eric through my lawyer friend who was handling his case. I used to help out at a small law firm to earn a couple of bucks to add a bit more to my miserable bank account balance. And that's how I knew about Eric and his unfortunate law suit.

It was a tough 6 to 9 months for Eric and us, battling out the case. It was a tough case and and uphill one at that. The cases were against us, Eric dropped the ball at the early stages of the trial and due to the legal system here, the law was simply against him from almost all angles. To make matters worse, his was also battling out the prospects of a divorce with his wife who didn't think he stood a chance in surviving the law suit. Not very nice of his wife, if you ask me.

Anyway, we spent many weekends working the case out at the small legal firm premise, running through cases and cases and stacks of cases plus discussion with Eric to make sure we got the affidavit as concised as and as accurate as possible.

After all the tiring weekends and long hours of discussion, the case was heard by the judges, plenty of hours of debating facts and the law. Eventually, Eric won the case as the plaintiff could not prove that Eric indeed committed an act of criminal breach of trust. It was great! I mean Eric finally went back to business as usual, kept his marriage going, the firm won the case and I got my pocket money.

Through it all, I actually asked Eric what would he have done had he lost the case?

"Honestly, when we finally go to the hearing stages of my case, I wasn't certain what to make of it. I mean we came this far in preparing for the case and I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope to win the case. I guess, I already money set aside for the kids and my wife. If she insisted on a divorce, I doubt I could stop it from happening. Not everyone can live we being associated to a bankrupt with a CBT label over his forehead. But I don't think it's all about winning the case but deep down, I merely need to know that no matter the outcome, I can look myself in the mirror and firmly tell myself I knew I did something about it.

Having gone through this moment in my life, I can now honestly say that not matter what you decide to do, you just have to make a decision move on with the decision and never look back. Because some day, some where, you are bound to make decision that could change your life forever. And when that day comes, you want to be in a position know you did something about it irrespective of the outcome."

Enlightenment Part 2 of 3: Buddhism in Yogyakarta

The highlight of the Yogyakarta was the awe-infusing marvel of the Borobudur temple located about 2.5 hours drive from Yogyakarta city. I have been to Angkor Wat in Cambodia so I have had experience with ancient Buddhist relics and amazing Buddhist temples inscribed with pin hair detailed carvings.

From the trip's itinerary point of you, I visisted Borobudur first but I decided to talk about Hinduism first to talk about Yogyakarta's religious transition from the sequence of which religion influenced Yogyakarta first from a historical perspective. Hence, Hinduism and now Buddhism.

The plan was to wake up at 3.30am in the morning so that we would be there by 4am to witness the scene of a beautiful rising sun from the pinnacle of the Borobudur. Unfortunately, the weather was less forgiving given that it rained from the day before right up to 3.30am when we woke up for the sunrise. So, we did not get to witness any beautiful sunrise and there definitely was no "egg yolk" in the horizon from atop the Borobudur. It was slippery, cold and cloudy throughout the morning.

Despite the rain plus all the other inconvenience the rain brought along, Borobudur was still worth the visit and the walk up the slippery steps. On that note, the rain was a real pain for me when it came to trying to set up my camera and the tripod to capture a good shot.

The Borobudur was designed as such that you have to walk all levels of it from the bottom to the top and it signified the path to enlightenment. If I recall correctly, you are supposed to walk in a clockwise manner all the way to the top. Each level signified a specific level of the enlightenment process and each level had different carvings on the walls to tell a story. It ranges from Buddha's path to enlightenment to the different folk stories of how sin would ultimately be returned in internal suffering in your second life.


The rain threatened to ruin the trip but the luckily it was all but drizzles throughout the visit and I still got some good picturesque shots..........

Enlightenment Part 1 of 3: Hinduism in Yogyakarta

Enlightenment - that was the big ticket item I took home from my recent trip to Yogyakarta, Indonesia last week. Before I go into the enlightenment bit, please let me express my envy for Yogyakarta for it is a state filled with abundance of cultural and historical landmarks. The advent of these landmarks is due to the major fact that the state transitioned itself through 3 different religious monarchy - Hinduism, Buddhism and now, Islam. Touring through the 3 different religious footprint in the state for 4 days was my enlightenment in the state.

Over the course of 4 days, I learned a fair bit of Hinduism, Buddhism and Islam in the context of Yogyakarta. As part 1 of 3, I shall begin with Hinduism!

Hinduism, during its reign over Yogyakarta brought forth the belief of a myriad of Gods / Goddess. There is Brahaman - the infinite manifestation of the universe, Vishnu - the protector, Shiva - the destroyer and many more of which I couldn't remember as my tour guide spoke to us about the deeply etched Hindu beliefs in Yogyakarta. The best part was, I got a crash course of the history of Hinduism in the state at a UNESCO world heritage site - the temple of Prambanan built around 850CE (also the tallest Hindu temple in Yogyakarta).

Before even reaching the entrance of the temple's complex, I was already awed and amazed by the size of the temple. Big would be common adjective to describe it but above and beyond being big, it was majestic and there was hardly any lack of mystical atmosphere surrounding the temple complex. Stepping into the temple complex was like having just exited from a time machine into the past.

There were 3 main temples in the complex, each devoted to an individual God / Goddess - Shiva, Brahma an Vishnu. In each of these temples, there are well carved statues of each of these God / Goddess. Unfortunately I could not catch the statue of Vishnu because the temple was restricted only to external viewing due to restoration work and the fragile state of the statue.

Each temple was the epitome of artistic carving prowess, showcasing a plethora of carvings of Hindu folktales narrating the most of notable tales of Ramayana and Krishnayana. The intricate carvings was the avid display of devotion, belief in the religion and fear of the higher beings. Reading the carved folktale required readers to go around the temple in a clockwise motion in an act of circumambulation. It was history at a mind blowing level!


The other temples in the complexes displayed carvings of deities surrounding the respective temples as celestial guardians of the temple. In a nutshell, the construction of the temple was the display of monarchy prestige, display of monarchy powers, religious belief and a strong devotion to celestial beings that would bring forth peace, prosperity and longevity to the ruler.

It starts with belief

Coming out of injury and trying to go back at doing the things you like doing is a stressful process mentally and physically.

Right now, I know I feel stronger and I know I am definitely stronger than before I got injured, having been working out twice a week in the gym for the past 5 to 6 months.

But despite all the iron pumping and effort, there is this nagging fear in the back of my head that continues to linger. That uncomfortable thought lingering at the back of my head is the fear of injuring myself again. Having had multiple injuries over multiple times, the fear does get to you and I know recovery rate for any person will slow down as you age. I may not be that old but I can definitely know the difference.

In order to break that barrier and try to make up for lost time, I engaged a trainer who helps with my workout for twice a month. He designs the workout for me and makes sure I get my technique right when I workout whilst the rest of the month I just continue the regime that he has given me.

At this point in time, I got to admit, progress is less than satisfactory but at the same time I have to accept the fact that I only have the weekends to workout because my weekdays are jam packed with work and I am most of the time too tired to do any workouts after work anyway. So when it comes to the weekend, I really try to give myself 100% when I am at the gym.

So today, when I was working out at the gym with my trainer, he was starting to increase the weights quite dramatically to increase muscle strength to get me in shape for upcoming squash tournament in a few months time and when I saw him adding up the weights I unconsciously mumbled, "uh oh!".

My trainer heard it and he went, "Don't worry bro. I gotta believe in yourself because I believe in you. You can do this. Come on!". Call it placebo if you may but his encouragement went a pretty long way to spur me on today's session. At the end of my session, whilst I was catching my breath from the weight pumping, my trainer had a grin on his face as he said, "Told you that you could do it! You have to believe in yourself and then you can do it. If you trust yourself, you have already admitted defeat before you even lifted the weights man!"

Whether it's weights, running, swimming or work, you have to have that self belief, knowing you can achieve whatever you are planning to do. Because setting a goal but not believing you can achieve it is already admitting failure before you even pursued your goal. Placebo or no placebo, self belief goes a long way in getting you to your goal.

softer touch to a problem

Last week, I had a fair bit of trouble trying to fix one of my car door locks. One of those central locking systems when you lock the driver's side, all the doors in the car are supposed to lock. Only this time, one of the door lock refused to go back down everytime it popped up. I won't go into the details of how the mechanism in the door works to unlock (pull) and to lock (push) the car door but basically there is this little magnetically driven mechanism that does the unlocking and locking.

It wasn't the first time it has happened to me and all this while it simply involved tightening the screw that held that mechanism in place thinking everything that ages (especially a 24 year old car) will always have a bit of loose screws here and there, which simply requires a bit of tightening. Going on that mindset, I got home from work one evening, pulled out the mechanic portable light, opened up my toolbox and got down to removing the necessary door panels to see what was causing that little mechanism to not work.

Released a couple of screws, pulled out the panel, and I was now looking at the inside of my car door, observing the linkages that set the motion of locking and unlocking my car door to see where was the loose end to the entire mechanical loop. After about half an hour, I finally found out that a particular screw holding the mechanism wasn't holding its place and thus causing the door to be unable to locked itself everytime I used the central locking system. So, when there is screw not holding something in place and you are holding a screw driver, the most logical thing to do would be to tigthening the screw right? So that's what I did, I grabbed my screw driver and tried tigthening the darn screw that was making me go through all this trouble!

So by the time I thought I had tightened the screw, I gave the system a shot and found it working. Satisfied, I put back all the panels, screwed everything back on and gave it another try. This time the door refused to lock itself again. After almost an hour by the time I had the door back in its original state. Fuming, I spent the next hour or so repeating the above steps only this time I realised I think I spoiled the screw. No matter how hard I tried to tighten the screw, it just wouldn't tighten. It pretty much became and infinite screw loose. It just kept turning, turning, turning and turning without tightening.

The next 15 minutes went to searching for a new screw in the pile of spares in my toolbox. Eventually, I found one of the right size and I took a deep breath, thought about it carefully and then tightened the screw but this time, I didn't screw it in too hard but sufficiently hard enough to hold the screw in place. Did a couple of testing and put everything back on the door and tested it again and WOALA! It worked.

Sweating after all the effort in the middle of the night (by the time I was done, it wasn't evening anymore), it dawned on me that not every problem or glitch can be fixed with just hard, punching solutions. Certain things can be dealt with with a little bit more delicate touches instead. Fixing a problem isn't like boxing where you just keeping throwing hard punches, and sometimes even in boxing a light punch can deal a killer blow if you hit your opponent in the right spot.

goodness in simpler things

The Chinese New Year season typically signifies the few things below:-
1. Ang Pow;
2. Plenty of eating and drinking;
3. Gambling; and
4. Companionship, meeting your relatives  and friends after a long while.

Over the last couple of weeks, eating was one of the main things I had been doing. It was always nice, fancy, lavish dinners. As much as I don't get to eat fine dining very often in my daily lives, it was in some way pretty surprising to note that I don't really having lavish dinners in restaurants despite the nice ambiance, service and food - I mean really rich food.

It was nice in the first week, eating some long 8 to 10 course filled craftily served chef's specialty touches and so and so forth. After that, I started to get a little bit dull from all the restaurant food. Not that it didn't appeal to my taste buds. I did but I quickly realised too much of richness in my food, for too often quickly led to a bit dullness in my food tasting experience.

I found myself missing the simpler dishes - prawn mee, friend kuey teow, beef ball noodles, nasi lemak, and the list of local delicacies may well go on. I mean those meals are not cooked up by highly celebrated chefs and neither will you find them in restaurants but these were simple meals. Meals that everyone of every stature and walks of life can enjoy.

What I realised lately that our generation of people are becoming more sophisticated. Eatery places didn't only need to have good serving food but it required the right ambiance and all the other finer details to be matched. In fact, I find it quite surprising that there are some who are willing to pay the extra for what they'd call a "dining experience".

Maybe I have a difference interpretation of the term "dining experience" but enjoying my dinner simply meant, I could wear anything I felt comfortable without any "blink blink" (decent of course) and eat the food I order and not be bounded by massively regulated table etiquette. And most importantly, I'd very much like to see myself giving a good, "aaaahhh!" after finishing my meal.

Not that I didn't enjoy all the fine dining I had over the span of Chinese New Year, but after having all the fine dining meals that didn't come cheap, it was refreshing to know I could find goodness in simpler things in life - cheap, good 'ole hawker food!

Money can indeed buy you good service, expert presentation and chef craftsmanship in the dish that is served to you but when you reflect on your daily lives, you will quickly realise that you can still find similar goodness in simpler things - you can't deny you still love the bowl of prawn mee you order from an old uncle who's probably been running the stall for decades, sweat while you enjoy the spiciness, taking a cold drink to quench your thirst from the sweating and spiciness and it'll only cost you at today's inflation adjusted price of maybe 5 Malaysian Ringgits! That's goodness in simpler things!

Knowing

Have you ever stopped to think about the good things that has happened in your life and wondered if it were ever planned or premeditated?



Now, here's what I learned from a well known CEO. Someone who gets featured in magazines and newspapers. Grab a piece of paper and start listing all the achievements in your life. I am going to assume you are able to list down at least 10 things.



Once you have listed them, take a read through and there is a high likelihood that you'll notice that about 60% more of the items listed had happened without you planning for it.



Of course I don't mean you should just leave everything to chance but it goes to show that not everything needs planning. Sometimes. Just sometimes, gold does fall in your arms.



So.... Sometimes, going with the flow is simply the solution to a good ending. Planning is good but too much planning and you end up doing a lot procrastination only with little action.



Hence, getting on our feet running instead should be the kick start to whatever you do. Then as you run your life's marathon, planning in between will point you in he right direction.



Success isn't about planning it out. It's about doing it and doing it with conviction.

Best regards, Micky

No pain no gain...

Not everyone agrees with the statement, "no pain no gain". I guess it really depends on the circumstance and the level of pain.

Recently, I had one hell of an experience after having injuring my knee for the 5th or 6th time. One of the risks that comes with playing squash as a favourite sport. Thankfully this time it wasn't as serious as before. Last time I had a torn hamstring that left me walking with crutches for a good 4 weeks. This time around I had an inflamed ligament. Walking wasn't a problem but certain angles really hurt.



Thinking the ligament was painful was a very wrong thing to do. The treatment I had to undergo was a lot more painful. A month of physiotherapy and another month of rehabilitation workout at the gym.



The pain is one thing. But what I gained was very meaningful and I learned a lot. All this while I thought I had been strengthening my knee well enough but I never knew strengthening major muscle sets isn't sufficient because even minor muscle sets mattered when it came to explosiveness, movement and stability.



Plus, when we think of strengthening our muscles, the first thing you think of is pumping iron. Surprise, surprise even simple free weight exercises could be pivotal to muscle strengthening.



At the gym, my trainer worked with me to build myself back up bit by bit. Also, despite all the iron pumping, it's when we are resting after exercising that our muscles build up and not during exercise.



I could go on and on about the stuff I learned throughout the recovery period. But the point I want to bring about is the fact that sometimes getting hurt isn't all that bad. There are still things you can learn, improve and impart to others.



So.... Sometimes it is true that no pain is no gain :0)



Best regards, Micky

Everyone wants to save someone

It was a long day for Hank. He had just spent almost 20 hours in the operating theater working on a patient would was brought in on extremely short notice for heart complications. But the patient wasn't just any patient. It was his own brother who suddenly had cardiac arrest while he was halfway running a marathon. A marathon that meant a lot to him because it was a marathon that he trained for for almost a year. Hank fought the full 20 hours trying to bring his brother back. He didn't want to give up, he couldn't give up on his only brother, Jimmy.

As Hank operated on Jimmy, in the back of his head it was as if a video cam was playing back all the good time Hank and Jimmy shared. Jimmy's first birthday, first toy, first bicycle and all the other rainbows of life he and Jimmy shared. Hank fought back tears throughout the ordeal. Jimmy was his only family left after their parents passed away in a fatal car crash 3 years ago. Hank had lost his parents, he wasn't going to lose his brother.

20 hours and eventually Jimmy must have decided to walk into the white light to be with their parents. Hank sat slumped in the outpatient waiting area with his operating mask hanging from his neck, hands covering his face, weeping for having failed to save his only family left. Wrecked and hard broken were probably understatements of Hank's feelings.

After that ordeal, Hank started to lose himself in depression. Every morning dark circles were visible beneath his blood shot eyes. He hardly ate complete meals, he could hardly concentrate when patients consulted him. It reached a point so bad that certain days Hank just didn't show up to work and leaving his nurses in a pinch having to cancel all his appointments. Eventually one day when his nurse, Diana tried to reach Hank on his cellphone and house phone and no one answered, she decided to visit him at his home. She was going to let something this take her crush away.

When she got to Hank's home, she thanked God Hank left a spare key under the carpet and entered into his house which was pretty much in a mess. She called to Hank and got no response. That's when she decided to do a spot check of the entire house. As she reached into Hank's room, she heard running water and immediately went to check the bathroom. To her horror, she saw Hanks slumped next to the bathtub filled with blood. Hank had slit his wrist.

Diana immediately called the ambulance.

Three days later at the hospital, Hank is finally conscious after having lost so much blood. He opens his eyes to see Diana and realises he failed to kill himself. He looks at Diana and turns away not wanting her to see him this way.

After a brief moment of silence, he finally spoke.

"I wanted to join my family. There wasn't much reason for me to live anymore having no one around and having failed to save Jimmy."

"Hank, why did you become a doctor?"

"Save people. I wanted to save people."

"How are you going to save people if you are dead?"

"Doesn't matter anymore. I couldn't even save my brother for Christ sakes"

"Hank. You can't save everyone all the time. Even the best doctors in the world will tell you that. The result could have been the same had a different doctor worked on Jimmy."

"I tried my best! I tried!"

"I know Hank. Everyone wants to save someone. That includes you. But if you decided to take your own life, you'd have failed to achieve saving someone. Saving somone would also mean saving yourself first before you can save someone. Dying is easy. It's living that's difficult, Hank."

With the help of Diana, Hank eventually got out of depression and moved on to be a very established heart surgeon. Today, every time he speaks to a patient in dire conditions, he always says this:-

"Time is never on our side. God took millenias to create the universe that only allows us to live up to about a hundred years old. But you and I probably get only 75 years to live. Everyone wants to save someone, and I want to save you. Please don't give up on yourself because dying is easy, it's living that's difficult."