What about yourself?

I caught a glimpse of a tv series when I managed to get home early today. I didn't stay to watch the entire episode but I did catch a short scene from the show. It's this guy who is respected by those around him and is usually called upon to help in love life situations and family matters. Just like the counselor everyone goes to in times of need. So much so that his nickname in the show is, "sifu" which in Cantonese is translated as teacher or guru.

It was this scene where he came out with a witty plan to help a couple fix their issue. Of course, his scheme was successful and the couple was happily after. But despite all the happy scenes going about him saving couples' relationship, family problems and what not, he was not exactly the happiest person in the show having lost his girlfriend to his close friend (of which he eventually gave up under the pretext of "I just want you to be happy").

I know there are many out there who would think it is awfully sweet of him and romantic but is it really sweet and romantic? Honestly?

Being selfless is one of the most respectable traits a person can have, like Ghandi and Mother Teresa. However, even being selfless has its limits.

Like the sifu in the show, he made everyone around him happy by helping them in times of need, mediating couple's squabbles, helping in family matters but he himself was suffering deep inside without anyone knowing. He was hurting, crying inside. Did it make sense to go around being a hero yet living himself in shambles inside? I think not.

Before one can become one to be called upon to help, one should start caring about oneself first. Don't get me wrong when I say you should care for yourself first as being selfish but what the message I want to bring across is that you cannot go around helping others before you start caring for yourself. Being selfless is a respectable trait but being completely selfless commensurate to being foolish.

Put it this way, you can't be a squash coach without knowing the game, you can't give someone proper medical attention without being a doctor, you can't teach without first being a teacher, you can't donate money without first having sufficient for yourself to survive, you can't piggyback someone else when you suffer from back problems. I think you probably would understand where I am coming from by now.

What about yourself? If you can answer that question, then you can become the sifu to those who need you........... So, what about yourself?