My intention was to be open about things and just be honest with myself and with her. But sometimes, even openness has its limitations as I found it out the hard way round. That's when I realised, at some point a thin thread could be the only determining factor between being open and over doing things. At the same time, I need to know when being sensitive isn't being sensitive enough to understand one close to you could be feeling a pinch inside.
It's a delicate process I have to admit. It's not something I can learn over night or understand in a flash. After all, I used to ask myself how tough can it be? Now, I am beginning to understand it isn't as simple as just "understanding" someone.
Last night I made the mistake of not taking notice something might have been out of place and I blindly made thing worse by accidentally adding salt to the wound when I said things I shouldn't have said. Although, I really had no intention to hurt anyone in the process. But like everything else in life, the learning process has to somehow involve hurting yourself or hurting someone close to you.
I talked about my past absentmindedly without noticing that it caused some discomfort. It was silly of me not to notice the discomfort whilst I kept on blabbering about it.
Right now, I think I learned a very important lesson and at the same time I really know who's dearest to me and means a big part of my heart.............. and I don't want to lose that dear one... not to anything, not to anyone and especially to myself...
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