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a good experience

A month and a half ago, I breathed a new breath of expectation, dream and hope. It felt like the world was in my palm; it felt like the advent of a butterfly flapping a pair of glorious, colourful pair of wings after completing a metamorphosis cycle; it felt like a blooming flower, finally opening up its petals in entirety to face the warmth of a big, bright sunshine.

It was a wonderful feeling. At that point in time, it felt gratifying because my heart was telling me, "You are finally becoming a man! You are doing something different and you have the galls to do it!"

A month and a half later, I now ask myself, "What was I thinking back then?" The closest possible answer is - I made a mistake; a misfire; a blank; complete poor judgement on my part.

It now feels like the world has mocked me and spun me around itself; a failed metamorphosis that yielded a big, hairy ugly looking moth; a flower that bloomed in the midst of haze and fallen sunlight. It was all but a false, tainted and distorted sense of gratification.

Ooooohhhhh..... the feeling of dismay is profound and the little devil inside my mind constantly tries to stick a syringe of regret into my spirit. It is like a emotional battle going on within me.

Before departing on a different career path, I thought I had what I needed. I read up on the necessary books, did Internet researches, spoke to different people, observe those on the track of success and made them examples. I then took a quick step back, took a look - everything for a relatively stern foundation was there, or so I thought.

Unknown to me, from an internal perspective I left out something. Something so pertinent that cannot be the missing puzzle piece to any form of undertaking. That something is passion. It was a fundamental element that I missed out completely in my haste of trying to make personal "history".

In summation, it was a rocket project that would never take off to the skies.

Disappointing as it may seem, there are only a few things that I can do at this juncture - admit failure with humility, make a mental note of this experience and at the same time ensure such misjudgment never happens to those close to me.

But amidst this hazy and gloomy outcome, there are many life's lessons I have learned:-

"without the presence of passion, any form of planning or pre-execution actions will only get the fire started, but will not suffice in keeping the flame burning"

"if it so good for someone else, it does not necessarily mean it'll be good for you"

"rough times maybe around, but bear in mind good times are usually around the corner"

"sometimes all we need is just a break, not a paradigm shift"

"if you don't feel too comfortable about something in the back of your mind, chances are it won't be something good"

It has definitely been a good lesson for me............


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~Path of Time~ by Micky Foo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License

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