~ changing your identity ~

The human brain, unknown to many of us is actually incapable of drawing the line between reality and fantasy; between fact and fiction. Many a times because of this phenomena, most of us unknowingly place a ceiling above ourselves. The 'ceiling' I mentioned in the preceding sentence is with reference to barriers to our potential achievements and capabilities.

There was one time when I had trouble finding my way in a pretty large office complex. It was a huge place that had six or seven blocks. The signboards within the complex were far from helpful and so I decided to ask a lady who was in the midst of cleaning the floor. The lady simply shrugged and said, "I don't know. I am just a cleaner here." Being just-a-cleaner was the identity she set for herself. She could have been the brand ambassador of her cleaning company boasting good corporate training, customer service, the one person that keeps that building gleaming. But no, she just wanted to be a cleaner.

In contrast to that lady, let us look at a very good living example of someone who set an identity for himself at a very early age. I was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of an interview with Canadian singer Michael Buble over cable tv sometime in 2007 when he was touring for his latest album then, "Call Me Irresponsible". During the interview, he said that at a young age, he already knew he was going to be famous. Whenever he practised his singing and the moment he held the microphone he could visualise himself on a stage - virtually able to see, feel and hear the crowd chanting his name. Here is one man who set himself apart from the rest, and by doing so created a disctinct identity for himself. The identity he set, virtually removed any ceilings and thus enabled him to go as far as to where he is now.

Just like planting a fruit tree, if you are hoping to yield good fruits from it, you'd have to make sure the roots are of the good breed, proper fertilisation, proper soil and so on and so forth. Therefore, we should start with our minds - visualising the person we want to be, set that identity for yourself, then become the person you want to be. And once you do that, you will find that inside you, deep down inside you, there will be a spur to become that person.


~Path of Time~ by Micky Foo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License

one foot in the past, another in the future........ what about the present?

All of us go through a cycle, what we commonly call - the past, present and the future. It can probably be summed up by this simple phrase:

"we come from the past to be in the present and look forward to the future".

Now, what I want you to do is take a step back, or just give your mind a minute or two to digest the above mentioned phrase. Ask yourself if it applies to you. Really ask yourself; and I mean REALLY ask yourself in the most honest of manner, whether it really applies to you.

You may find it difficult to arrive at a 'yes' and even if you do, you probably find yourself in a paralysis state of mind trying to justify the 'yes'. If you really ponder about it, you are likely to find that most of us would find this phrase more relevant instead:

"we come from the past and look forward to the future"

You will find many of us either hang on to the past or look far too forward into the future, or likely for some to even be dwelling too much in both. Very few of us actually live in the present.

At home, parents are working hard to earn money for............ family's future, kid's future, for a dream home, dream family car, family plasma tv; all of which are for the future. Children are told to study hard for the future. Parents are told to do early financial planning to plan for their retirement (i.e. future).

At work, all the planning, forecasting, budgeting are uses to make future projections.

At school, children study and attend classes to prepare themselves for exams at the end of the year (i.e. future).

Those who cling to the past are those who are likely to be seeking some form of comfort. A very good example would be insurance agents who love to say, "Our agency has had 5 consecutive years of returns on investments above 25%!"

Organisations that undergo some form of restructuring will face staff who love to say, "We were doing fine in the past. Why change and risk not having the changes work?"

Working adults who strive relentlessly for a perceived better future end up forgetting about the present - their health, which more often than not ends up in doldrums.

School students who are psyched such exam-oriented mindset end up becoming exam machines. At that juncture studying becomes synonymous to merely passing papers or to some more status conscious, "TO SCORE!!!!!". Unbeknownst to these students and especially parents, such mindset leads to waste of knowledge because everything is for the sake of scoring a miserable paper. Ask those poor souls to explain what they have learned, and highly likely they will give you a verbatim quote right off the textbook and might just give you the exact page number with the exact paragraph and line number as well! Knowledged acquired on that very second becomes priceless and can already be used if needed right that very moment.

Insurance agencies may have marvellous and maybe off-the-charts past records, but past times were probably in the midst of economic boom time unlike the current economic conundrum plaguing the whole world right now. So please explain to me how does it or can it even tell anything about the future?

Organisations who execute changes, execute them after due deliberation, after considering all past, current and foreseeable future data. Directors at a high level always look at things from a big picture - not only just the chicken egg, they want to take into account what chicken is incubating that egg, under what conditions, temperature, humidity, etc.........

In a nutshell, I too have clung on to the past too often and look too far ahead into the future trying to anticipate every possible scenario. The end result - I got nowhere. I am still where I am and in fact, probably worse off than I was before.

If you think you are facing a similar situation, I beckon for you to consider my words because preventing yourself from facing such a situation will save you much energy, time and emotional effort.

I am going to end this by quoting a famous psychotherapist, Dr. Frederick (Fritz) S. Perls (1893-1970) who summed up what I just said at length, in a somewhat crude manner:

"If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future you're pissing on the present."

~Path of Time~ by Micky Foo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License

a good experience

A month and a half ago, I breathed a new breath of expectation, dream and hope. It felt like the world was in my palm; it felt like the advent of a butterfly flapping a pair of glorious, colourful pair of wings after completing a metamorphosis cycle; it felt like a blooming flower, finally opening up its petals in entirety to face the warmth of a big, bright sunshine.

It was a wonderful feeling. At that point in time, it felt gratifying because my heart was telling me, "You are finally becoming a man! You are doing something different and you have the galls to do it!"

A month and a half later, I now ask myself, "What was I thinking back then?" The closest possible answer is - I made a mistake; a misfire; a blank; complete poor judgement on my part.

It now feels like the world has mocked me and spun me around itself; a failed metamorphosis that yielded a big, hairy ugly looking moth; a flower that bloomed in the midst of haze and fallen sunlight. It was all but a false, tainted and distorted sense of gratification.

Ooooohhhhh..... the feeling of dismay is profound and the little devil inside my mind constantly tries to stick a syringe of regret into my spirit. It is like a emotional battle going on within me.

Before departing on a different career path, I thought I had what I needed. I read up on the necessary books, did Internet researches, spoke to different people, observe those on the track of success and made them examples. I then took a quick step back, took a look - everything for a relatively stern foundation was there, or so I thought.

Unknown to me, from an internal perspective I left out something. Something so pertinent that cannot be the missing puzzle piece to any form of undertaking. That something is passion. It was a fundamental element that I missed out completely in my haste of trying to make personal "history".

In summation, it was a rocket project that would never take off to the skies.

Disappointing as it may seem, there are only a few things that I can do at this juncture - admit failure with humility, make a mental note of this experience and at the same time ensure such misjudgment never happens to those close to me.

But amidst this hazy and gloomy outcome, there are many life's lessons I have learned:-

"without the presence of passion, any form of planning or pre-execution actions will only get the fire started, but will not suffice in keeping the flame burning"

"if it so good for someone else, it does not necessarily mean it'll be good for you"

"rough times maybe around, but bear in mind good times are usually around the corner"

"sometimes all we need is just a break, not a paradigm shift"

"if you don't feel too comfortable about something in the back of your mind, chances are it won't be something good"

It has definitely been a good lesson for me............

~Path of Time~ by Micky Foo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License