Fishes can calm you too!

Couple of days back while driving back home from class, I passed by a fish shop. Strangely, I decided to turn back to the fish shop and I found myself walking into the shop to browse the fishes they had for sale.

I always reared fishes since I was child but my fish rearing hobby went into hiatus as I had progressed into my tertiary studies due to time commitments and more assignments to do. Personally, since my younger days I always felt that fishes had a calming effect on me. But I didn't really go into a complete hiatus since I still kept my giant guorami which I started rearing since it was just as tiny as 8cm. Now it is about a good 50cm! This year will be the 8th year since I first bought it.

The picture above is some new additions of fishes in one of my old two feet aquariums. While browsing the fish inventories in the shop I decided to get some Tiger Barbs since they swim in schools and they are always full of live. It might be difficult to see thee fishes in the picture since my camera handphone does not really have a good camera (1.3 mega pixel, oh well......) and I took the picture at night. Oh yeaa, I added some greens into the aquarium as well to make it more comfortable for the fishes (here's a tip for fish keeping - it is not really good to have a bare aquarium for fishes since it tends to scare them since there is no hiding or resting place).

Anyway, I ended up walking out of the fish shop with 15 Tiger Barbs and some fresh water plants for aqua decoration! All in all, it took me about 2 hours to clean up the aquarium, prep the filter and a fair bit of water to set up the aquarium for those small Barbs. Now, I come home everyday looking at this small fellows swimming aruond and I get a nice calming zen effect.

Happy moon cake festival!!!! :)

Yesterday was the Chinese moon cake festival and I got a pleasant surprise from a close friend of my mother. It is really normal and usual to get moon cakes from friends and relatives, but the moon cakes I got this time were really special and how should I say........ CUTe!

"Must be the usual lotus paste moon cake like every year". That's what I thought but I was wrong when I opened up the box. I saw the cutest moon cakes in my life!! Small tiny moon cakes in the shape of a piglet, rabbit, porcupine and a mouse.

If you are wondering where you can buy them, you cannot buy them because they are 100% homemade, with absolutely no preservatives. I tasted one of them and I could really get the taste-from-home feel right in my mouth............ although it does lack some body in terms of it's flavour but homemade food made with love and effort always gives you the satisfaction when eaten.

Happy moon cake festival to everyone out there!!!!!

How's your life?

Very often, we face troubles and find ourselves being bombarded with all sorts of external pressures ranging from work load, relationships, financial, etc....

Our natural reaction would most likely be "SH@#!!!!!!", when faced with problems. I guess, and I am pretty sure I will be right if I were to say that we will all say, "it's one of those bad days", "sucky day!", "crappy day!" or a a very famous phrase from a Stephen King book, of which I believe it is Dreamcatcher, "SSDD - Same Sh@# Different Day" [P.S - kids, don't pick that phrase up please. :)]

So now, this brings me to my point that we are always so concerned about today, the now, busy trying to catch the moment or busy trying to be the center of the cockscrew. In the midst of all the trying, we end up losing our sight on the big picture. The big picture is not only about the now, it is about the past, present and the future.

There is nothing wrong about focusing on the now, but focusing on the now causes us to lose sight of things. Very simply, imagine you keep your eyes focused on your index finger. Keep looking at your finger like your life depends on it. A couple of seconds later you will begin to realise everything else around your index finger becomes blurry, and that's exactly what happens when we are too focused and concentrated on the now. We lose out on the big picture!

Read the short story below and you might just find it more inspiring than my literature above. =)

The Big Picture
Having a bad day? Back up and ask yourself this important question.

He was a most remarkable man. A man of years clearly mapped out upon his face. Clean, well-kept, but not pretentious in his style or dress. I shook his hand and felt a mix of gentleness and hardened, leather-like skin. I would guess he labored most of his life; now he was forced to stop long enough to heal.

His movie-star blue eyes slip you into a momentary trance. He wouldn't notice you staring at him, though, for he is legally blind. But he senses the hesitation in your voice if you do not respond immediately to his first question. "So, how was your life?"

That question alone halts you in your tracks.

"I would be better prepared to answer how was my day," I suggested.

"That's too easy," he said. "I think we need to keep up on our life as a whole."

I thought for a moment and simply asked, "Why?"

"We tend to nit-pick. We can so easily take one day and dissect it. It is easy to say you are having a bad day. Or simply write it off as 'One of those days.' But when we broaden the view, we take much more into consideration. Life in general will be 'good' or at least 'okay,'" he explained.

"So you cut right to it and ask for an overall rating," I said.

"If I can get someone to see the big picture and realize there is more good in their life than one bad day, I might even change their outlook on this very day," he said.

"So, how was your life?" I asked him right back.

"Wonderful so far!" he responded with a smile. "Thanks for asking."

Then he said one more thing that really stayed with me. "I'm on the shady side of sunset."

How powerful! It seems to me that we often see life as beginnings and endings. Sunrise depicts a new dawn, an exciting adventure ahead. Sunset make us think of endings, like "riding off into the sunset."

This man knew his life, his time, was coming to a close.

"I do hope the sun sets slower for you," I told him. "You have so many more people to ask the big question."

Before I left I promised him I'd help. Let me begin by asking you.

"So, how was your life?"

~The Parables of the Marbles~

Let me see... how should I start this post........?
Every now and then, we are dogged by our desires (i.e. wants rather than needs). However, we are often unsure of where the line is drawn between knowing what are our wants and what our needs. Not surprising, that we find that satisfying our wants will more often than not lead to a selfish decision.

Purely out of curiousity, I was browsing through some self-help books and I bumped into this story that describes how selfishness can become the very button that leads to losing the things important to onself.

Once upon a time, there was a foolish boy who had a bag full of beautiful marbles. Now this boy was quite proud of his marbles. In fact, he thought so much of them that he would neither play with them himself nor would he let anyone else play with them. He only took them out of the bag in order to count and admire them; they were never used for their intended purpose. Yet that boy carried that coveted bag of marbles everywhere he went.

Well, there was also a wise boy who wished he could have such a fine bag of marbles. So this boy worked hard and earned money to purchase a nice bag to hold marbles. Even though he had not yet earned enough with which to purchase any marbles, he had faith and purchased the marble bag. He took special care of the bag and dreamed of the day it would contain marbles with which he could play and share with his friends.

Alas, the foolish boy with all of the marbles didn't take care of the marble bag itself, and one day the bag developed a hole in the bottom seam. Still, he paid no attention and, one by one, the marbles fell out of the bag.

It didn't take long, once the foolish boy's marble bag developed a hole, for the wise boy to begin to find those beautiful marbles, one at a time, lying unnoticed on the ground. And, one by one, he added them to his marble bag. The wise boy thus gained a fine bag full of marbles in no time at all. This boy played with the marbles and shared them with all of his friends. And he always took special care of the bag so he wouldn't lose any.

And what about the foolish boy? Because he was selfish and careless, he lost all of his marbles and was left holding the bag.

Health Mistakes

All of us make little health mistakes that cause damage to our bodies in the long run - simply because we are unaware we are doing something wrong. Here are some of the most common mistakes made by a lot of us.

Crossing our legs
Do you cross your legs at your knees when sitting? Although we may believe that this is the lady-like elegant way to sit, sitting this way cuts down circulation to your legs. If you don't want varicose veins to mar the beauty of your legs and compromise your health, uncross your legs every time you realise you have one knee on top of the other. The best way to sit is to simply place both legs together on the floor, balancing your weight equally. If you feel like! changing position, instead of crossing your legs, simply move both legs together to one side. As an alternative, you could also consider crossing your legs loosely at the ankles. This is a classically elegant way to sit, and is far better for your legs and your health than sitting with your legs crossed at your knees.

Not changing our toothbrush
How often do you change your toothbrush? Most of us wait until most of the bristles have either fallen off, or are in such bad shape that we'd be embarrassed to pull out our brush in public. However, since not many of us need to pull out our brush in public, we carry on with our frayed one until we lose it. Replace your toothbrush often. Damaged bristles can harm the enamel, and don't massage your gums well. If you find brushing your teeth a pain like I do, but know you must do it, you might as well be doing it right. Imagine going through the annoyance of brushing your teeth twice a day only to find out that you're damaging your enamel every time you clean your teeth. Also, use a brush with soft bristles unless your dentist has advised otherwise.

Eating out often
There are oils that are high in cholesterol, and oils that cause little harm and are better for your heart. However, no matter how light the oil is, it is never a good idea to eat too much of it. Limit outdoor eating unless you know that you're getting served light and healthy food.

Skipping breakfast
Never, ever skip breakfast.. Remember, when you wake up in the morning it's been around 10-12 hours since your last meal. Your body needs food now, more than at any other time. Eat a heavy breakfast. You will then be busy through the day, and the calories will get expended quickly. If you are trying to diet, eat a light dinner. Here are some more common health mistakes we make. Being informed and making a few changes can help make us feel a whole lot better.

High heels
High heels sure look great, but they're murder for your back. This however doesn't mean you should steer clear of stilettos. Wear them, but not when you know you will be walking around a lot. Wear them when going out for lunch or dinner - when the only walking you will be doing is to your car, to the table, and back. Avoid high heels when you are going somewhere on foot. If you are constantly tempted to wear your heels, take a good look at your flats. Is there something about them you dislike? Invest in a new pair of beautiful flats or shoes with a low heel. Buy something you love, that you will enjoy wearing. If possible, get a matching bag. You will then enjoy your flats as much as you do your heels.

Sleeping on a soft bed
You don't have to sleep on the floor be kind to your back, but do make sure you have a firm mattress. Although a mattress on springs is soft and lovely to sink into, it's bad for your back. If you already have an old bed with springs, you don't need to invest in a new one - simply get a thick wooden plank put over the springs, and place the mattress on the plank. Similarly, if your mattress is old and lumpy, throw it out and get a new one.Your neck and your back will thank you. The same rule applies to sofas. If you will be spending hours on a sofa, get a firm yet comfortable one. Sofas you completely sink into are not the best idea.

Pillows
No matter how comfortable sleeping with ten cushions is, have pity on your neck and resist. Sleep with one pillow, and make sure it is not too thick. If your pillow gets lumpy, discard it and go for a new one. Get a thin pillow if you sleep on your stomach, and something a little thicker if you sleep onyour back, to give your neck adequate support.

Not exercising
So all of us know we should exercise more, but many of us don't. This is a health mistake we consciously make! And why is that? Simply because we refuse to admit the damage we are causing to our bodies by not working out. A number of people only start working out once they've experienced a warning signal. Don't wait for a heartattack to strike before you decide to opt for a lifestyle change. Make the change now. You don't need to train for the marathon to be in top shape. Half an hour of brisk walking three to four times a week will make a world of difference to your health. You could then increase this to forty minutes, four times a week - and you're all set. If you haven't exercised for a week, you're making a mistake.

8 gifts that cost nothing, and build relationships too!

Interpersonal skills are by far the most important skills one will need to hone in order to get around easily socially. I think I do lack certain key skills in trying to be better at socialising. Being Asian, socialising always seem to be a problem not only for myself but for many others who are Asian as well.

As usual I like browsing the web for self help tips and hopefully find some ideas to improve myself. I found 8 great simple tips that may help me improve myself in building. Check it out!!!
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The Gift of Listening
But you must really listen. Don't interrupt, don't daydream, don't plan your response. Just listen.

The Gift of Affection
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

The Gift of Laughter
Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

The Gift of Solitude
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

The Gift of a Favor
Everyday, go out of your way to do something kind.

The Gift of a Written Note
It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime.

The Gift of a Compliment
A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job," or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.

The Gift of a Cheerful Disposition
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone.