Ups and downs are apparently part and parcel of life, that is the saying at least. Going through a slump earlier this year has not helped and as I hit rock bottom in terms of confidence and motivation, I get dealt with another blow smack right in the face! News of one's failure is anything but good news, and most certainly difficult to accept. Facts are facts i guess, can't change something that has already been determined.
So now that most of myself has been shattered to particles close to the size of a dust speck, I now need to repiece the shattered pieces and start climbing up the ladder of life to start from ground zero and building the foundation again. Only problem is, that ladder seems to be a very tall ladder without any end at the top.
For most people, it is a simple task of just getting on with life accepting one's defeat if you want to put it that way. It is not about accepting it but more of feeling the huge sense of frustration seeing that what you have put in has not been matched with an equal outcome. It really makes you thing why bother working so hard. Unfair? Maybe. Horrible luck? Also a possibility........
Mixed with the feeling of frustration, includes the feeling of anger and hate. Expecting to do well after putting in all the time and making sacrifices only to be greeted with disappointing news makes it all the harder to accept and swallow. The feeling hate is further fueled observing people who merrily get along with life putting in less than you and coming out with desirable results! It certainlly makes one wonder whatever happened to cause and effect - drink too much water, you need to go to the loo. So, I put in a lot and get less while some put in less and get more!?!?!? Someone explain the science in that please??
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
My dog, after one year..........
For those who read my blog about year ago, you would remember my dog, Blackie! For those who don't know him feel free to drop by the old post I made when I first brought him back to my house - here.
As quickly as last year came, close to a year has gone by since Blackie joined my family. He's grown a lot compared to the small lil' black dog he was. Still as healthy and probably more naughty than before as well!
Check out some of his photos I took after I got back from class this evening......
Sure was difficult trying to find him a steady position for a good photo shoot. Sure has grown a fair bit since I brought him back. As he grows, he sure gets more energy. But I guess this should be is maximum size since he is of the smaller breed. Quite frankly I don't know what breed his is of since the owner of his mum never knew who his father was. One thing's for sure, he's half a spitz (his mom is a spitz).
Oh well, I am not a must-be-pedigree-dog person. After all, you don't need a pedigree for a good companion at home right? :D
As quickly as last year came, close to a year has gone by since Blackie joined my family. He's grown a lot compared to the small lil' black dog he was. Still as healthy and probably more naughty than before as well!
Check out some of his photos I took after I got back from class this evening......
Sure was difficult trying to find him a steady position for a good photo shoot. Sure has grown a fair bit since I brought him back. As he grows, he sure gets more energy. But I guess this should be is maximum size since he is of the smaller breed. Quite frankly I don't know what breed his is of since the owner of his mum never knew who his father was. One thing's for sure, he's half a spitz (his mom is a spitz).Oh well, I am not a must-be-pedigree-dog person. After all, you don't need a pedigree for a good companion at home right? :D
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Who we are and what we stand for....
The past 2 weeks and presumably the next 3 months will be challenging period for me and many in the place I work. Many will be resigning with the coming of the promotion period and for many who have completed three years working experience to become chartered accountants. With many leaving, loss of friends, increasing workload, drop in motivation - one's morale will definitely be affected.
As for myself, trying to separated between what I want to do from here on becomes an unprecedented task of mind boggling complexity. Forget the pun, long story short - I have to make up my mind soon on whether I want to continue doing audit or to move on into tax advisory. Both paths are equally lucrative monetary-wise, both with differing job scopes and requiring differing sets of skill. Not that it gives me a headache or anything but it confuses my mind since there are so many unknown factors to consider. Three quarters of the time, it is always the unknown that winds up becoming the bullet or bullets in one's head! To make matters worse, the finger pulling the trigger to the bullet usually belongs to our very own hand. Quite profoundly true, it is always the unknown that raises worries.
Decisions trouble all of us on a daily basis, from as simple as "what's for lunch?" to "what shirt should I wear today?" to "which tie should I put on?". Frustratingly true right? This should give you a good picture of what I am going through but at a larger scale of course, given my future is at stake.
Time and time again, I keep asking myself, "what am I doing?", "what is it I want out of myself?", "is this who I am?". I get different answers all the time, as if being in a schizophrenic state of mind switching virtual personalities from time to time. I guess the mind does play tricks on people especially when choices are of abundance.
As for myself, trying to separated between what I want to do from here on becomes an unprecedented task of mind boggling complexity. Forget the pun, long story short - I have to make up my mind soon on whether I want to continue doing audit or to move on into tax advisory. Both paths are equally lucrative monetary-wise, both with differing job scopes and requiring differing sets of skill. Not that it gives me a headache or anything but it confuses my mind since there are so many unknown factors to consider. Three quarters of the time, it is always the unknown that winds up becoming the bullet or bullets in one's head! To make matters worse, the finger pulling the trigger to the bullet usually belongs to our very own hand. Quite profoundly true, it is always the unknown that raises worries.
Decisions trouble all of us on a daily basis, from as simple as "what's for lunch?" to "what shirt should I wear today?" to "which tie should I put on?". Frustratingly true right? This should give you a good picture of what I am going through but at a larger scale of course, given my future is at stake.
Time and time again, I keep asking myself, "what am I doing?", "what is it I want out of myself?", "is this who I am?". I get different answers all the time, as if being in a schizophrenic state of mind switching virtual personalities from time to time. I guess the mind does play tricks on people especially when choices are of abundance.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Finding heaven on earth........
None of us truly know where heaven is, or how heaven looks like, but we are all pretty sure it is a nice, beautiful and peaceful place. For most of us, waking up everyday to work or waking up knowing in the back of your head you've got all the commitments waiting for you. Must really be horrible right?
You'd be surprise but we have experienced heaven on earth many, many times actually. For some of us it could be our first job offer, first pregnancy, first car. Felt like you were on top of the world right?
Other nice feelings on this world could come from when you find yourself appreciating the beauty of mother nature - beautiful mountain scenery, seeing an amazing formation of birds take flight up in the blue skies or simply seeing a wonderful sunset right outside your office window.
For some of us, we find inner peace when stepping into a sacred place like a temple, church, or a simply a dedicated room for prayers. Sudden tranquil just flows around you right?
Those experiences I just mentioned above are some experiences many of us go through quite often at times but often taken for granted.
Most of us find it difficult to be at peace because of some of these simple factors, described by John Robinson:
Disbelief: Was disbelief your first response to my description of Heaven on Earth? Did you immediately dismiss the possibility of Heaven on Earth with all your objections? Disbelief prevents us from even considering the possibility of stepping into that Heaven that is already here.
Fear and Worry: When you worry and fret about problems, distressing thoughts prevent you from stopping to really see what's around you. Instead, you're living in a fear-driven mental world completely removed from the presence of Heaven on Earth.
Compulsivity: Instead of stopping to see where we are really are, we rush on to the next problem, worry, or self-improvement project. Driven by compulsivity, we rarely stop to "smell the roses" which is where the threshold to Heaven lies.
Here are some ways he describes to find heaven on earth:
1. Find a peaceful and pleasant place to stop everything. Disconnect from people, phones, and tasks, and be quiet for a few minutes. Breathe deeply, quiet your mind, and down shift from the world's hectic pace.
2. Find a peaceful and pleasant place to stop everything. Disconnect from people, phones, and tasks, and be quiet for a few minutes. Breathe deeply, quiet your mind, and down shift from the world's hectic pace.
3. Now stop thinking, heighten awareness, and begin examining the world just as it is, without names, ideas, judgments, or beliefs. Look at whatever is around you and see it as if for the very first time. Notice the colors, patterns, textures, and spatial arrangements of things, and how the subtly changing light affects their appearance. Open your senses, be utterly fascinated, and you will soon discover that the world is not what you think.
4. Bring love and joy to whatever you experience. You already know how to love, love everything unconditionally in this moment and see how the world changes before your eyes.
5. Finally, silently repeat the following simple phrase, "This is Heaven on Earth." As you do this, notice how your perception and feelings change further. You are now looking directly into the divine world.
Try it out! I am sure you'll see things under a different light. :)
____________________________________________________
John Robinson holds doctorates in clinical psychology and ministry and is an ordained interfaith minister, author, and mystic. He has taught extensively at men's gatherings, professional conferences, churches, hospitals, and retreat centers and is the author of three previous books on the interface of psychology and spirituality. His new book, 'Finding Heaven Here' (O-Books, 1/09), documents the chorus of mystics from across eras and traditions who tell us that Heaven on Earth is already here when you learn how to see.
You'd be surprise but we have experienced heaven on earth many, many times actually. For some of us it could be our first job offer, first pregnancy, first car. Felt like you were on top of the world right?
Other nice feelings on this world could come from when you find yourself appreciating the beauty of mother nature - beautiful mountain scenery, seeing an amazing formation of birds take flight up in the blue skies or simply seeing a wonderful sunset right outside your office window.
For some of us, we find inner peace when stepping into a sacred place like a temple, church, or a simply a dedicated room for prayers. Sudden tranquil just flows around you right?
Those experiences I just mentioned above are some experiences many of us go through quite often at times but often taken for granted.
Most of us find it difficult to be at peace because of some of these simple factors, described by John Robinson:
Disbelief: Was disbelief your first response to my description of Heaven on Earth? Did you immediately dismiss the possibility of Heaven on Earth with all your objections? Disbelief prevents us from even considering the possibility of stepping into that Heaven that is already here.
Fear and Worry: When you worry and fret about problems, distressing thoughts prevent you from stopping to really see what's around you. Instead, you're living in a fear-driven mental world completely removed from the presence of Heaven on Earth.
Compulsivity: Instead of stopping to see where we are really are, we rush on to the next problem, worry, or self-improvement project. Driven by compulsivity, we rarely stop to "smell the roses" which is where the threshold to Heaven lies.
Here are some ways he describes to find heaven on earth:
1. Find a peaceful and pleasant place to stop everything. Disconnect from people, phones, and tasks, and be quiet for a few minutes. Breathe deeply, quiet your mind, and down shift from the world's hectic pace.
2. Find a peaceful and pleasant place to stop everything. Disconnect from people, phones, and tasks, and be quiet for a few minutes. Breathe deeply, quiet your mind, and down shift from the world's hectic pace.
3. Now stop thinking, heighten awareness, and begin examining the world just as it is, without names, ideas, judgments, or beliefs. Look at whatever is around you and see it as if for the very first time. Notice the colors, patterns, textures, and spatial arrangements of things, and how the subtly changing light affects their appearance. Open your senses, be utterly fascinated, and you will soon discover that the world is not what you think.
4. Bring love and joy to whatever you experience. You already know how to love, love everything unconditionally in this moment and see how the world changes before your eyes.
5. Finally, silently repeat the following simple phrase, "This is Heaven on Earth." As you do this, notice how your perception and feelings change further. You are now looking directly into the divine world.
Try it out! I am sure you'll see things under a different light. :)
____________________________________________________
John Robinson holds doctorates in clinical psychology and ministry and is an ordained interfaith minister, author, and mystic. He has taught extensively at men's gatherings, professional conferences, churches, hospitals, and retreat centers and is the author of three previous books on the interface of psychology and spirituality. His new book, 'Finding Heaven Here' (O-Books, 1/09), documents the chorus of mystics from across eras and traditions who tell us that Heaven on Earth is already here when you learn how to see.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Astral projection and out of body experiences....
Have you ever felt like you were dreaming but somehow find that you are looking at yourself sleeping on the bed some time in the middle of the night? For most of us, we just call it dreams we sometimes have, but for some it could be a form of OBE, or commonly known as out-of-body-experience, or astral projection.
Although I cannot confirm the truth to such things, I think I might have had one of these experiences. For the past 3 months or so, I have been getting weird dreams, sometimes awfully vivid and scary. There were times I find myself seeing people I have never met, know names that do not ring a bell, see events that I have never come across in my entire life.
Because dreams like these came so frequently, I could have sworn that I was experiencing OBEs or something along those lines. You'd probably think I am crazy if I said the dreams felt so incredibly real that I could have sworn I could reach out my hands and feel what I was seeing.
Most of the time I end up waking up out of sudden, and realising I am in my bed. Some friends of mine said I could be just going through one of those bad sleep habit periods and my mind just isn't at rest. But if these sort of dreams happen close to everyday for almost 3 months, it really does get me wondering about whether are there mere dreams or something more.
But over the past 2 to 3 weeks the frequency of these dreams have slowly decreased as I take some timeout during weekdays to just do some yoga meditation to just calm my mind down and try to relax my body. Goes to show, the mind sure can play tricks on you if you are not in the right awareness to control your own mind.
Search out OBE and astral projection on Wikipedia. It is quite interesting to read about it actually! :)
Although I cannot confirm the truth to such things, I think I might have had one of these experiences. For the past 3 months or so, I have been getting weird dreams, sometimes awfully vivid and scary. There were times I find myself seeing people I have never met, know names that do not ring a bell, see events that I have never come across in my entire life.
Because dreams like these came so frequently, I could have sworn that I was experiencing OBEs or something along those lines. You'd probably think I am crazy if I said the dreams felt so incredibly real that I could have sworn I could reach out my hands and feel what I was seeing.
Most of the time I end up waking up out of sudden, and realising I am in my bed. Some friends of mine said I could be just going through one of those bad sleep habit periods and my mind just isn't at rest. But if these sort of dreams happen close to everyday for almost 3 months, it really does get me wondering about whether are there mere dreams or something more.
But over the past 2 to 3 weeks the frequency of these dreams have slowly decreased as I take some timeout during weekdays to just do some yoga meditation to just calm my mind down and try to relax my body. Goes to show, the mind sure can play tricks on you if you are not in the right awareness to control your own mind.
Search out OBE and astral projection on Wikipedia. It is quite interesting to read about it actually! :)
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