Today was my first day at a new department as a secondee. Things are very much different as compared to the department I was working in before. Surprising to note that despite being within the same firm; the shared culture, routines and symbols that form the department's paradigm differ vastly.
One thing's for sure, I definitely have to try to fit in and managed myself with this change. Change is notoriously never easy especially when one is used to a different department's paradigm. Quite obvious is the fact that change introduces a substantial amount of uncertainty; my very bad habit of self questioning tends to kick in, finding myself wondering over questions like:
1. Will I ever fit in?
2. Am I in the wrong field?
3. What if I mess up along the way?
4. Am I sure about this?
5. Am I up to the task?
At the end of the day, I wouldn't really know unless I try. But at least one thing is clear - I have a lot of catching up to do, due to the fact that I missed out the junior levels. Difference between then and now is that I have to learn to pace myself so I will not end up pushing myself too hard too soon like what I did earlier. I have come to realised, setting personal goals to meet is a good way to progress but the moment it becomes something I think about too often, I then end up running towards an endless horizon.......
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