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A moment to reflect

Counting down to my exam date is really getting closer and I am still struggling to find my confidence. I am really not sure where it has run to. I am still unsure of myself regarding my risky undertaking of four papers. I have to ascertain my chances. Sometimes I feel good about it, and sometimes I feel very weary about it. The only thing I can think of is that, 'if I am sure, it means I am probably not ready yet'. In terms of support, I am getting a tremendous amount of support from my parents and it has helped me carry myself through so far. It has not been a smooth ride and it will probably continue to be bumpy until I complete my last paper on the 12th of June.

Talking about confidence, while taking a break from studying yesterday afternoon I was watching a National Geographic Special on the famous actress Zhang Zi Yi (if that's you spell her name?). Seeing her work out those tough scripts she gets when shooting motion pictures, and at one point she had to learn to sing for a special set she was doing in Japan. I was deeply moved by her determination and there was one point during the show I actually felt envious, for she had that sort conviction in what she was doing. When they recorded her practising the song she was supposed to sing for the show, I could see the amount of effort she was putting into it. In addition, the song she was singing was anything but easy, since it was a Japanese song. In case you don't know, she's Chinese! The Japanese language is a language one cannot expect to grasp by just listnening to songs or watching heaps of Japanese dramas. And throughout the show, when she was interviewed, she often put emphasis on how difficult the road ahead is, and how difficult it is trying to put herself into a character she is playing that constantly differs from show to show, but often repeated that she would always take up the challenge and look at it as the many ways to move her career upwards, and more importantly making it a stepping stone to improve herself as a person. That's what I call determination and dedication.

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